The tunneL

The sun finally came out, I could see aquamarine sky and large rolling clouds passing by from my balcony. The squirrels were busy tidying themselves up after a long spell of rain. The tree trunks are drenched, in fact some of them have green algae on their trunks. The eagles were soaring high above in the clouds effortlessly. The sun cast its sunlight on the trees and part of it was lit  - the shaking leaves and swaying branches made it a beautiful sight to behold. 

It was an unusually quiet day for reasons best left unwritten here but also probably because my mind was numb and dazed. How does one celebrate a death anniversary ? On baba’s 1st death anniversary I followed the rituals which only emptied my pocket and transferred 20,000 + cash to the pandit & I had never felt so cheated in my life. Subsequent years I donated money to a charity and in the last 2 years it became another day where I prayed in the morning and carried on with my work. I thought about him, visualised him and wrote about him.

Is that all ? I asked myself. 

Lot of existential questions had surfaced when I was in flight between Bangalore - Delhi - Assam to do the last rites. What am I doing with my life? What is my sense of purpose?  Is all of this really worth it? I made my peace by putting financial objectives in front of me. 

4 years on, the end is visible but hazy like the end of the tunnel which you can see from your window seat as the train rushes by. 

Will there be a station beyond the tunnel where I can get down? 

Day 19: 200 words/day challenge (284 words)