The Importance of the word "I"

The only time an author and his/her philosophy talked about it was Ayn Rand. Her philosophy of objectivism/ selfishness - me before others was a staple of many discussions but for most of us middle class folks, it was easier to fall in the usual BE / MBA – well paying corporate life than chase our dreams.

Why am I talking about it today?

Because, I am at a stage when my I is scattered around me – I can see its shadows in my children, my parents my wife and my extended family.

Because, after 7 years of married life I know the weekend list of groceries, financial discussions, furniture, food ……is as much of part of your life as the food you eat, air you breathe and the water you drink.

Because, after 12 years of living a corporate life – when the caffeine took precedence over lunch, brands you were managing over the brands you ate, boss’s deadline over your celebrating new year at a beach…………………I realize it’s time you give it back to ‘I”

Because, there are 2 tiny souls who have not seen their 10th birthday and I don’t want them to nurse a drink at the age of 37 and listen to Desperado (by Eagles) and heave a sigh of relief thinking….”how could these guys…echo my feeling”.

Sitting beside a pool…seeing them splash / jump / scream…. started the same question of I, something I had grappled with when I first read Ayn Rand 20 yrs back.


But, this time the take was completely different!

We have heard of mid-life crisis but I thought it is a wonderful mid-life opportunity – imagine 2 kids around you who are just discovering the word I – what they can do with their tiny feet and hands, their mind, their instincts.

Their mind carries no prejudice, so no unlearning to be done. Their body knows no limits until they actually do something. Their mind and body is in complete sync…. they can sleep in 2 seconds flat or wake up at 2 am to solve a Math puzzle. They don’t have discussion on how many hours of sleep is needed, when they want to sleep they just sleep.

But for people like us, we are still part of the vicious cycle of earn more – live more on one side and think more – do less on the other side. How many times have we heard “Gosh I am 35” or “I have spent 3 years in the same project / job / 3 years without a vacation etc.

It’s easy to fall into the rut of 9 to 9 and just go on living life without stepping into I. For most of us, 12 hrs of our day is occupied by phone call, meetings, traveling (read our job). After we shut down the ubiquitous PC, most of the bachelors and spinsters don’t know what to do. Book or any other sensible hobby requires dedication and passion (read looking into and being objective about I). Those who are married probably think. “Where are those days, when we could just go out for a drink”… without thinking of attendance at home.

But in both cases – slowly as we age and move ahead in life, the objectivity of the word I start declining and sometimes it is completely lost.

And, it’s difficult to be as objective about I as you were at the age of 17. When I speak to lot of my friends / colleagues, the feeling is that of “being their done that” / going on / “pulling along. Mostly, the question is “At this age do I really want to re-discover the lost I”?

Also, unlike kids, the unlearning process is the difficult part –

“Can I swim at the age of 37 weighing a ton” VS “Come on Dad! Just Jump, move your hand n u will float…” is the choice.

I don’t know about others, as far as I am concerned…I jumped and I know for the next 10 years (probably rest of my life) I will be kicking and living a much richer life…Thanks kids!