Can I save my green spot?

Can we imagine listening to birds chirping in an apartment in the middle of Bangalore 500 mt from the one of the arterial roads of Bangalore.

I must be blessed to be waking up in the morning and listening to bird chirping. Thanks to the trees around our apartment who provide shelters to playful squirrels; chattering parakeets; watchful eagles; woodpeckers; myna's; crows of course and bee’s who have put up large bee hives and are as busy as they can be depositing the honey collected by the troops. I am sure there will a much larger ecosystem of ants and insects, but this is what I get to watch and enjoy from my 6^th floor.  

Over last 5 years they have become family especially on a lazy Sunday when I have my warm cup of tea and see this ecosystem come alive or on a tired evening when I reach back home early and sit on the stairs to watch the eagles gliding on the sky whereas all the other birds are giving their last shout out before they go quiet.

Today as I sipped my tea in the evening, a friend called to say that all her plants in the garden have died and all birds/insects/ butterflies had suddenly disappeared overnight. On inquiring further, she was told that the entire neighborhood was sprayed with special chemicals to kill the dengue mosquitoes.

Is this a collateral damage which we can avoid or one day we will wipe out the entire flora and fauna in the name of saving the most powerful animal in the planet – The Home Sapiens. Those who have read the book can relate to what I am saying and those who haven’t can see this to start with.

Inside Outside

Outside it’s clouded

After two days of sunshine

Sun has decided to hide

Behind the dark curtains of cloud.

I got up feeling groggy inside

Bit like the sun outside

My heart played hide and seek with my mind.

It tried to rewind

back to days

When the sun shone bright

And I was ready to fight

Anything on my way.

But today

Is not my day.

I want to curl back and

Be a fetus

Once again

Like I was born.

So, I can start a new journey

In a world where sun always shines

Inside and Outside.

Of traditions and keeping them alive?

Tradition is all bout dressing up ? 15th August Class Photo

As kids growing up in 80’s, we just towed along with our parents / larger family / friends because of the comfort which comes with just being with people whom you know and be happy and tradition just helped us being together. Durga Puja was one such occasion – wearing one new dress every day, keeping fast and giving Anjali, sitting down as a group and eating bhog – these were the lovely moments I often remember and cherish.

With the Puja approaching in 2 weeks we packed 2 tops each for our daughters living in boarding and told them to wear them on Puja days. Probably they will but they did not find it reasonable as to why they should wait for 15 days when they can wear it the next day.

This made me look back at how the entire tradition of Puja has slowly become another commercial venture especially in a city like Bangalore where I stay for last 11 years and except for few years when I am out on vacation or visiting Delhi / Jaipur where my extended families stay I have celebrated most of Puja days at Bangalore. Both me and my wife have grown up singing / dancing in the programs which were conducted during puja which in those days were more a homely affair than a large commercial event as it happens in most of Bangalore.   

When I tried to dig deeper with my children who will be very soon out in different cities starting their college on how they would celebrate next year when they were in a different city – they reaction was typical of their age, it depends who all around and maybe if time permits. At first instance, the picture I visualized was a death of tradition which we have grown up with and felt sad that I am unable to uphold the same for my daughters. I in fact felt I am responsible for its death 

But on deeper reflection I felt that – we (at least me) have all gone thru this. And it’s a reflection of how things have changed around us and has changed us. In this case Me - The primary unit.

For my parent’s puja and it’s celebration defined him and his family hence we (that is his family) were all interned into it. It defined him as someone who is Bengali. So today I can relate strongly when I read a passage on Puja in Jhumpa’s book or Chitra’s book because for 3 of us it defined us – it was our fibre. Not so for the next generation or my kids – for them it’s an outing no different from going to a mall – it’s all about food. Durga Puja for them is a folklore or a mythological tale fabricated for social reasons i.e. keeping a group as one / social peace etc.

There rational outlook has God/Durga Puja and traditions of 5-day puja with all that I mentioned above are in the periphery of a scientific, rational and logical outlook. There is nothing emotional about it.

Maybe they go thru it just to make peace and Wapping there friends ‘This is a fancy show I have to go thru every year for my parents.’…….So be it !

Ministry of Utmost Happiness – Arundhati Roy

I read this over a period of 2 weeks. First few chapters on my way to work. Disconcerted especially the entire section on introduction to Anjum I moved my reading to late night ensconced in my world so that I could sleep to exorcise the feelings which arose as I read the book. Last few days I was away from the duniya at Rishi Valley School to meet my daughters so I could snatch away time at night as they slept peacefully to finish the book.

The dedication tells it all – To, The unconsoled. 

It’s a difficult book to read; it churned my inside as I read the pages. I have not followed her since God of Small Things in terms of her involvement with the social movement or what the press terms as an activist. Reading the book creates a vision in your mind which is no different from the reality what you see in any city of India and in the high rises – the modern affluent people. 

The first six chapters on introduction to Anjum, Khwabgah is gut wrenching – any of us looking for escapism will put the book down and never move to the second section where the build-up happens around 3 characters entangled in a way possible only in books. 

What I liked is the detailing of Old Delhi, characters, situations especially of eunuchs and their whereabouts – this maybe a first for most of the readers – who would want to understand them. There in probably lies the message of a kind of apathy which has set in most of us – we are ok with a Santhal women hired from an agency to take your baby out to the park as we are busy posting our pics on international travel in Facebook.

It’s a political book and I felt at times she tried to address too many issues plaguing our society. I believe all writing is personal – you write what you feel the best and as I read I could feel at some point she was exorcising the ghost within.

But I loved the entire Kashmir episode – the strange relationship between the four characters – Musa, Tilo, Naga and Garson Hobbart. The description of Kashmir and the brutality was vivid and I could visualize the seething anger; lost beauty; sadistic brutality - it swung my emotions between rage, love, disgust and pity.

Overall, I came out of the book feeling like an incapable bystander who is busy running uncaring and uninvolved cocooned in his own world – not a comfortable feeling to end a book with.

Teary Eyed at times but Glowing with warmth - Three Thousand Stiches – By Sudha Murthy

The only reason I started reading this because Joyee my daughter is a great fan of hers and I was in a different world after finished reading Sapiens for almost 4 days. Reading Sapiens was like getting handover from GOD on what happened in past and what to look forward to in future. I perhaps needed some human touch – I had an option of Murthy or Chitra Divakurani. I am thankful I picked up ‘Three thousand Stiches’.

It was one of the simplest book I have read and I guessed why my children loved reading her books. But simplicity does not mean it does not have character – except for a few which I felt more for education/awareness like “I can’t We can’ which talks about AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or ‘A powerful Ambassador’ which talks about Bollywood and it’s impact outside India, ‘A day in Infosys Foundation’ which explains the contradictions / challenges one faces as a social entrepreneur most of them had a simple message told in a way she would have told her grandchildren.

I was so happy that Joyee (my younger daughter) reads it because as I read it I could feel what the DNA of a simple and honest life should be, what good upbringing means, how principles and values can be instilled in the family especially your children. How you can challenge the current norms of society and lead a life with passion from age 17 to age 67. It does not matter where you are born and where you study if you can instill strong values in your children they can go where their passion takes them.

My two best stories

Three thousand Stitches, which explained professional challenges of being a social worker if I may call her that and it took her almost 15 years to achieve what she wanted to do for the devadasi’s. What it takes to win the trust of a community, it’s not just about money which you are donating but sharing the problems and empowering people to find their own solutions. 

A life unwritten, which explains how her father (who I felt had a great influence on her) was posted in a village in pre – independence era and how she helped deliver a baby in a small hut with no electricity and no prior experience of delivering a baby. How he gave all his money to her and told her to go become a nurse and not give up in life after he heard that the baby and the girl will be killed. The fact that she wrote this store after 50 years (assuming she wrote it now) shows what impact that would have had on her. 

Life is all about learning from experiences, we are what we are because what we have gone through. With a frenetic life, we live these days; it’s so important to close our eyes, pull back and retrace our path to understand from our mistake or a touching experience – like reading this book. I went back in time and recollected things which I never did for a long while. Time spent with my parents or story telling sessions / walks / drives with my children who are away in boarding. I hope I have been a good father and instilled in them values which will create another Sudha Murthy. 

When I closed the book I almost felt she is my role model and I should send a mail to her saying if I could work with the foundation in whatever capacity I can.

Death of a conversation

Death of conversation

Today I lost my voice

Sound got choked inside

It echoed

Moving between mind and heart and

spaces in between.

Driving between

Office and home

I saw

A couple

Smiling

Chatting

Talking

Moving hand in hand

Held together

Which stated

Till death do us apart

I smiled and

Drove on

Thinking

 How did we end up

From

Death do us apart

To

Death of a conversation?

There is no answer

Because

That

Needs a conversation

And today

It curled up & died …

Amazing Grace

Eagles flying by

With grace and poise

As I sit in my balcony

and try to make a choice.

I think slow

I imagine the future

I remember the past

I build scenarios as I have been trained to

What if

And

What if not….

As I look up

I see

Dots of eagle

Floating effortlessly

In a cloudy sky

Ignoring

The pollution

& The noise.

I finally decide

‘My Decision can wait

for another day’

Today

Let me get lost in their

Grace & playfulness.

Do my dreams matter ?

I am seventeen

In my teen

I want to see the world

Never seen

By my eyes

I was excited

To have

Transited

From a child with a dream

To

A man with a vision

I want to

Fly

But I

Feel chained

With shackles

Which are not mine.

Don’t they trust me

To work hard

Make the right decision

Or

Am I just another toy

In their hand.

I wake up at night

Breathless

Screaming

Crying

Scared that I will shatter

Their dream.

Do my dreams really matter?

Which they want

To manipulate

And cremate

in their dreams for me.

Let me end this battle

Today

Let me

Break the shackles

Once and for all

And fly

to a world

Where

I can make my choice

without being judged.

Goodbye,

till we meet again

In a place 

Where 

I can be ME

& 

You can be You

Goodbye!

PS: Inspired by a true event.

The Run

The night ended late

Thanks to a spate

Of discussions

Leading to confusion

&

indecision.

There was a thought

which had brought

me to Mumbai

18 years back.

A vision of

Freedom n free spirit

A vision which started

a run

I am still running

so that

I can stand still.

Today as I fill

my lungs with fresh air

and see the rising sun

I look back and wonder.

Did I really have fun?

Is there still a free spirit inside me?

Do I still believe in freedom?

I search for these answers

And more….

But I know, all I can do is

Maybe

Run just a little more

In the hope that

There is something in store

At the end of my run….

It’s not about the birds!

As we trekked early morning in the wilderness;

with a worn-out stick in our hand

to find birds in this land

which had;

humans encroaching in their flight plans.

I heard

Birds - chirping – chatting – cooing,

Singing, all around me.

The guide told us

‘Hear the bird call - listen – focus’.

As I tried to listen,

I could hear

Not only the birds chirping

The river water lapping

The breeze ruffling

The bamboo trees swaying

The air literally speaking

to me…

In those few moments

I forgot

I was bird searching

Because

in all that chatter

I could feel a stillness,

In my mind which;

I was struggling to find

Making me realize;

It is never about the bird;

It is about the search…

Isn’t that why we all set out

To go;

wherever we want to go

when our heart calls….

Running Blog 5…

12^th Feb 2017. As I start writing this – I get pictures of my running friends finishing their run in Auroville, Pondicherry. From a team of 5 it became a team of 16 – who went from Bangalore, unfortunately rather I took a call not to participate this time.

This is not unusual i.e. to miss a run or 2 but it requires a lot of will power to restrain yourself. The adrenaline rush which I get when I put on my shoes epitomizes Just Do it! And I am sure many of my running mates get that. I could have run 10 k comfortably but then my next goal was 21 K and did not want to do anything less than that in 20 17, health issues – thanks to a swinging temperature of Bangalore from extreme cold in the morning to extreme hot in the afternoon, work life balance, minor injuries after the Kaveri Run in Nov made me call of the run.

With temperatures coming back to normal – I have started in FEB. We will see where I end up by end of the year.

But I do keep going back to the question / dilemma which plays on my mind and maybe many of us – Should we push ourselves to these smaller milestones. There is no end to no of marathons (read activities) which happen around us and it’s easy to pick one and run, it brings in a discipline, a sense of achievement when you look at the medals hanging in your room and of course the bragging rights. I have always looked / searched / preached – balance. A difficult thing to achieve but important for a generation (I am on the extreme end of the spectrum & my teenage daughter are on the other) who is spoilt for choice & has the means to spend.

I found this nice book / blog which one can read if interested. http://runningmind.org/

Postscript: Did 10k today & noticed that I did 1000 KM in 2 yrs Feels good.

What does dream mean to you?

What does your dream mean to you? Do you chase it with all your passion till the time it comes true. Does it evoke the same passion day in day out till you achieve it or do you reach a point when you say. “This is it! It was good to have one! But now let me live life the way millions of others living”. I am sure we dream – but most of us live life without realizing our dream. Which is perfectly fine.

La La Land pushes you to re-kindle your dreams (your passion). It takes you back to the days when you were growing up you believed in your passion and wanted to do something which your heart believed in. Part musical – with an excellent cast (well matched), lovely photography, colorful location, haunting music and a simple storyline (Disneyish) – it was a pleasure to sit through 2 hrs. We all knew the answer – that their dreams will come true but as the story plays out in front of you – you adore every scene, every words spoken or sung, the detailing, timing, the thought which went behind the movie.

I remembered my growing up daughters a lot –

At 13 Joyee is still in her world of doctors, pilots, & teacher. It’s the flavor of season – what she reads, sees her friend’s experiences. There is a world of possibilities in her eyes. Dream on Girl! Few more years before the world starts dictating terms to you. Fill your heart with dreams so that you can make it come true.

At 16, Niki after making her first major decision of taking science (although she is brilliant in art – father’s confession) after Xth is realizing the enormity of XIIth exams (in India) and I can see that her dreams and now being shaped a lot by the world outside tilting towards rational choices, balancing the real versus her heart (dream), the possible future as defined by the world at large.

At 47 – the only dream I have is to help my daughters realize their passion. I want to do lot of things but these are mostly goals to push you to live life fully or making sense of a life over run by chaos at work (startup experience - anyone!!), roads (Bangalore – phew!!) & life in general (too many voices in my head). I did my 10 K under 60 as promised to me in the beginning of 2016. I hope to do at least one 21k in 2017. I have goals towards writing and doing social work. Yes I am passionate about all the 3 - running, writing and serving. But if it does not happen – So be it. I am not going to drown myself in one of the last surviving lakes of Bangalore.

So did I have dream and did I abandon it?

Well one of the dream I had was to make a film where dreams come true, seeing which people feel inspired to do something - La La Land is probably nearest to my dream coming true & hence the post before Monday blues hit me.

In 70’s when I grew up -  and 80’s when I finished my schooling and then college in early 90’s – the only constant was movies. From staying back late to watch the movies / repeat telecast of Oscar awards in our first Weston B & W shoe box TV, noting down names so that I can cajole my uncles to take me to see English movies, to borrowing VHS & a video player from video library to see pathetic prints of English movies to watching movies in Lumiere / World Movies which ushered in the world of movies to my TV screens to ensure that I see all Oscar / National Award nominated movies every year. My DVD shelf is always full and at any time will have at least 25 unseen movies.

My most admired / inspired person (read HERO)of the year is Hemanth who after 20 years of struggle – from editing / directing serials, to make corporate A/V’s to commercials (not the ones which you and I would have seen), to make a film which got an international award last year – I truly understand what it means to pursue your dream especially when it comes to movies (& in India).

Movies has been my only constant in all my ups and downs in life (in addition to books n music of course). Because it is only A movie which can bring it all together – create a world within your world where you can immerse yourself and stay their untouched by whatever is happening or not happening in your life. That’s the power of a cinema.

But I did not chase my passion in it’s true meaning – was never sure I can make films and make money. Living in scarcity helped me make my decision. But while I never chose to make a film but films chose me in many ways as I lived my life.

Being in advertising & marketing gave me a ring side view of film making - making the hilarious A/V’s for launch of a product or making a film for a business meet or sitting in an editing room from Mumbai to Trivandrum (Asianet studio) and doing the brand logo swipe – I cherished every moment. Spending 30k on a Sony Handycam – in 2001 even before the digital camera came into play so I could shoot my daughters growing.

I do not have any regret. I am living my life fully without any compromise but films like La La Land tugs your heart strings and re-kindles those innocent moments when you would close your eyes and tap dancers would come from nowhere.

Let me do that once last time who knows this time it might just be for real. And yes…I am going to fish out those SONY tapes and see if I can recreate some nostalgic moments.

S(h)ankranti and what I learnt from Baba today?

It was a hard day although it was a Friday which started at 5.30 am and ravaged by multiple meetings and (I must say this) relatively low Bangalore traffic I reached home by 7 and the only thing I had in mind was to curl up in my bed and go to sleep.

It’s only when I went to say Hi! To Baba and saw the twinkle in his eyes that I realized that today is Shankranti and he was all set for the peetha (Bengali sweet will not do justice to it.). He is 76 got operated for lung cancer exactly a year back and still recovering from multiple sessions of chemo and radio therapy.

Keeping the tradition alive: He grew up in a place surrounded by paddy fields, kicking a football made of rags, walking a few kilometers to go to school, having rice 3 times a day, catching fish and of course celebrating Shankranti by making peetha the previous night which would be savored the next day. We are in 2017 and since 50 years this tradition has been followed in our house every single year.

I moved out of my house in 19 87, many a years I will receive a parcel (from Assam / Delhi) which has some kind of peetha in them. And when he is around like now – it will be night out for me and him. The beauty in the whole thing is that it is not at all about having the sweets (he is diabetic), but it is about the family or my office bong colleagues who miss the peethe which they used to have at home before they got uprooted.

With the new generation starting to live on – Swiggy delivered meals, the joy and tradition of making the peethe and enjoying the togetherness may just remain a Facebook post which all of us will like and feel nostalgic about.

Passion & Focus creates energy: It’s amazing to see this enthusiasm in him – it’s almost like a drug for him. He will buy all ingredients in advance, plan everything meticulously so that nothing falls short on this day. A body ravaged by chemo get’s abundant energy on these days which is difficult to explain scientifically but I have seen it with me and many of my friends when you just sleep for 3 hrs but get up full of energy to reach the set and start shooting (just joking) and start working on something you left incomplete at night. It’s simple – when heart is passionate & mind is focused energy is created. 

Perfection: Maybe it’s virtue or a code we all live with. Making peethe is not an easy task. All the bongs who tried making them can sympathize with me (as I tried and failed miserably) rest of you have to take my word for it. The sweet has to taste right, it has to be of certain texture, color, it has to balloon right. He will keep on trying till he gets the perfect shape and size. Till then I have to console him that it’s going to be ok. Maybe some leadership lesson in being second in command when you cheer your leader from ringside before he gets into the board meeting. I am experiencing too many of them in recent times so I will leave it at that.

Innovation / Experimentation/ Kaizen: Even after making peethe for 50 years, this year he tried 2 new dishes which he saw in TV, discussed with his family in Assam on the key ingredients and possible problem areas. It’s an inspiration to see him in kitchen – there are some tips he picked up from TV, some from bangla cook books he read and  few from his aunts back home in Assam – all of them has to come together to make the perfect peethe.

Maybe I am just over reacting to create a blog post, but with the internet, you tube, TV (I know it’s dead now) you are inundated with information, articles, philosophy – but we all go back to our desk and do the same thing day in day out after a momentary A-Ha. I loved seeing the TED Talks till I asked myself ‘Why I am seeing this’? What next.

Things will change if we put what we all see, observe, learn every day in a the broth and stir it to solve a problem with a bit of objectivity. I know Ayan Rand will be turning in her grave but I feel it’s easy to shrug off this feeling of too much is happening around me but if you want to change things - Get up & Go now.

Thanks Baba.

Train Journey and relationship status…

Being together without nowhere to go – physically & virtually (limited signal) one get’s to observe beautifully where we are in our relationship – a true measure of love (cycle) maybe.

Couple of 60+: They are the most blessed and the love curve has done a full circle. They are falling in love again. Constantly chatting, listening to music (I heard a couple listening to Gulzar) talking to their grandsons and daughters. Always ready to talk, share and give advice they are full of life. Rediscovering new places, meeting old friends, going for marriages – life has taken a fresh new start. Assuring their children that they are safe and fine – somebody is coming to pick up and everything is arranged they are in my mind the blessed ones who are living life to the fullest and taking one day at a time. Cheers!

Couples in the age of 45 – 60: Too much water have passed under the bridge, kids have grown up – approaching teen. They are busy with their music / sleeping / reading and doing their own thing. Wife – tired from her trip and dreading the check list in the near future when she reaches – catches up on her sleep. Husband – left to his own reads or gazes out of the window, thinking how we used to talk, play games, cuddle up have fun…maybe we will do some of it in the next few hours left. A trip which one dreamt of having fun, re-energizing relationships / bonding seeming to end up covering the distance between 2 stations.

Couples in the age of 35 – 45: For these couples the child is the king or queen. With the child’s age ranging from 3 – 7 year olds, they drive the couples behaviour. Ipad, Mobile games, movies on laptop. Technology seems to be a key entertainment and that’s what they want & get from the harassed parents who catch their breath and get few winks of sleep if they are able to get away from a child who was supposed to be bundle of joy and they do not know when they turned into a bundle of harassment. I do sympathize with them – but I also know that “This too shall pass!”

Couples in the age band of 25 – 35: Fresh into marriage there is a sense of adventure, learning more about each other – mind and bodies, so they feel better sharing their birth (as in the train birth) and dumping all their luggage in one, talking – chatting – laughing – talking about things which has happened at home or near past and thinking about new things to do in the coming days. Life is full of colours and meaning. Living it up is the mantra while they discover each other.

Monkeying Around...Don't miss my mohac

Teenagers going to adulthood: Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! (In train)They find meaning in staying awake at night listening to music and sleeping in the morning. They have a mind (developing) of their own and want to do things there way. They respect their parent and their choice but they want to do their own thing within the boundaries laid out by then. It’s difficult to figure out beyond this.

Child entering into teen: The spirit is that of child but the mind is growing up and hence while they want to snuggle up with their parents in their birth and chat but their developing independent mind tells them to listen to the songs in their parent’s old phone. There are also the ones with a sense of responsibilities attempt to finish their homework. There is an interesting struggle which one sees and smiles.

Old Men 60+ travelling in groups: There seem to be resurgence of spirit and they will get down at most stations to stretch their legs – talking loudly among themselves. Also trying out new things like oranges in Nagpur. Getting into train as it starts moving…Phew. Sometime I felt a lurch in my heart as they did these heroics but they were a good bunch of people to have around us as they would lift the entire spirit by their constant chatter and activity. Let’s enjoy today who know’s if tomorrow will come.

Old men 60+ travelling alone: Gazing out of the window, contemplating the future whose end is not very far and a past which is like a never ending road travelled and is lost in the sandstorms of life. They are travelling to stay in the same place.

As I mentioned in my previous post – on History & the influence of Historians. The observations made above are my interpretation and mine only. For some time, during our train journey - I was left on my own - hence the frame of reference is important. Abandoned by my teenage daughters – I got under the skin of some of the characters around me in my compartment and discovered multiple worlds spread around me.

Anthropology Anyone!

(PS: More on Anthropology & Films coming soon)

Who is normal ?

One of the lovely quotes from the book..

In ‘A sense of ending’. The author says ‘To understand the history it’s very important to understand who the historian is. Because History is written from a historian’s perspective.’ I feel the same way for any author/director/musician so on and so on forth. I always go back to the originator (author, director, musician and any other creator) to understand his or her perspective  also try to understand the origin of thought (if any). With wiki and the web it has become very easy to do the same.

But as I finished ‘The curious incident of the dog in the night time’ By Mark Haddon – I did not have access to net and for once I wanted to write my feelings towards the book as raw as it could be. Typically there are lot of incidents which happen between the finishing of the book and writing about the same. Although few specific thoughts always linger in your mind regarding a specific book but the full impact can be experienced around the time you finish the book.

The curious incident of the dog in the night time;

It takes some time for the book to grow on you. The beginning of the book is made

interesting with a mystery dog killing and the reasoning behind that is also explained quite nicely. In a nutshell the book gives a peek into a 15 year old’s mind – but his is not a regular mind but a child who has some kind of psychological problem (later I learned it as Asperger's Syndrome) which has nothing to do with intelligence but to do with dealing with people which includes his parents and public places. Maybe there is a syndrome for the same but I am not aware of the same at this point.

The whole book is about what the boy is thinking in his mind and how he is coping with the external world. He has his own explanation for everything – including life. The book is nicely illustrated with examples of puzzles or drawing of a cow or station – how the boy sees it in his head. He is extremely intelligent and understands Maths better than me at least and has a photographic memory. It was amazing when he explained – how what a normal person can see vs what he saw when they looked at the same field. The kind of detail which he can see probably none of us can see. That’s because when we see something we also think if ‘back home the pressure cooker is on?’ while he just sees.

He lives in terror because he cannot let people touch him – if they do he shouts, including his parents, they have to win his confidence before they can communicate with him. When he goes inside a station he see too many things so that he cannot differentiate what is important and what is not and hence prioritize his input in some sense – so he sees all signage’s of brands and instructions in one form and his mind goes blank, he cannot stand loud noises and whenever he is scared he starts doing complex maths in his mind. Once he almost gets killed because he chases his pet rat in the underground and almost gets run over by a train.

But despite all his shortcomings, he speaks the truth most of the time unless he tells white lies which he explains why he does that. In some sense the normal people like his father and mother behave in a much worse way – so that they cannot stay together and get separated with the child in father’s custody who lies that his mother is dead.

In one of my previous experience – when I had gone to a blind school. Before I could step out of my car, I was blind folded and then I had to cross the road to reach the building, have my initial interactions with people, use the toilet, eat food, experience the walls of the buildings, try to visualise a painting ….all blind folded.

My first reaction was of panic. It required a complete change in orientation of the way I do things for many days that feeling of helplessness stayed with me and it changed my perception of how a differently able person manages his daily life (at a basic level) and then how does he go to the next level of studying, experiencing so many things which we normal people do – books, movies. Plays, shows etc. And how callous are we design a toilet in office or a railway station or an airport.

I think in some way the author is gently asking us the question – 

Who is normal & Who is not? A father who lies to keep custody of his son or a son who braves all his shortcomings in search of his dead mother... 

Some thoughts from the author 

here.https://www.theguardian.com/books/2004/apr/11/booksforchildrenandteenagers.features3