Inside Outside

Outside it’s clouded

After two days of sunshine

Sun has decided to hide

Behind the dark curtains of cloud.

I got up feeling groggy inside

Bit like the sun outside

My heart played hide and seek with my mind.

It tried to rewind

back to days

When the sun shone bright

And I was ready to fight

Anything on my way.

But today

Is not my day.

I want to curl back and

Be a fetus

Once again

Like I was born.

So, I can start a new journey

In a world where sun always shines

Inside and Outside.

Of traditions and keeping them alive?

Tradition is all bout dressing up ? 15th August Class Photo

As kids growing up in 80’s, we just towed along with our parents / larger family / friends because of the comfort which comes with just being with people whom you know and be happy and tradition just helped us being together. Durga Puja was one such occasion – wearing one new dress every day, keeping fast and giving Anjali, sitting down as a group and eating bhog – these were the lovely moments I often remember and cherish.

With the Puja approaching in 2 weeks we packed 2 tops each for our daughters living in boarding and told them to wear them on Puja days. Probably they will but they did not find it reasonable as to why they should wait for 15 days when they can wear it the next day.

This made me look back at how the entire tradition of Puja has slowly become another commercial venture especially in a city like Bangalore where I stay for last 11 years and except for few years when I am out on vacation or visiting Delhi / Jaipur where my extended families stay I have celebrated most of Puja days at Bangalore. Both me and my wife have grown up singing / dancing in the programs which were conducted during puja which in those days were more a homely affair than a large commercial event as it happens in most of Bangalore.   

When I tried to dig deeper with my children who will be very soon out in different cities starting their college on how they would celebrate next year when they were in a different city – they reaction was typical of their age, it depends who all around and maybe if time permits. At first instance, the picture I visualized was a death of tradition which we have grown up with and felt sad that I am unable to uphold the same for my daughters. I in fact felt I am responsible for its death 

But on deeper reflection I felt that – we (at least me) have all gone thru this. And it’s a reflection of how things have changed around us and has changed us. In this case Me - The primary unit.

For my parent’s puja and it’s celebration defined him and his family hence we (that is his family) were all interned into it. It defined him as someone who is Bengali. So today I can relate strongly when I read a passage on Puja in Jhumpa’s book or Chitra’s book because for 3 of us it defined us – it was our fibre. Not so for the next generation or my kids – for them it’s an outing no different from going to a mall – it’s all about food. Durga Puja for them is a folklore or a mythological tale fabricated for social reasons i.e. keeping a group as one / social peace etc.

There rational outlook has God/Durga Puja and traditions of 5-day puja with all that I mentioned above are in the periphery of a scientific, rational and logical outlook. There is nothing emotional about it.

Maybe they go thru it just to make peace and Wapping there friends ‘This is a fancy show I have to go thru every year for my parents.’…….So be it !

Ministry of Utmost Happiness – Arundhati Roy

I read this over a period of 2 weeks. First few chapters on my way to work. Disconcerted especially the entire section on introduction to Anjum I moved my reading to late night ensconced in my world so that I could sleep to exorcise the feelings which arose as I read the book. Last few days I was away from the duniya at Rishi Valley School to meet my daughters so I could snatch away time at night as they slept peacefully to finish the book.

The dedication tells it all – To, The unconsoled. 

It’s a difficult book to read; it churned my inside as I read the pages. I have not followed her since God of Small Things in terms of her involvement with the social movement or what the press terms as an activist. Reading the book creates a vision in your mind which is no different from the reality what you see in any city of India and in the high rises – the modern affluent people. 

The first six chapters on introduction to Anjum, Khwabgah is gut wrenching – any of us looking for escapism will put the book down and never move to the second section where the build-up happens around 3 characters entangled in a way possible only in books. 

What I liked is the detailing of Old Delhi, characters, situations especially of eunuchs and their whereabouts – this maybe a first for most of the readers – who would want to understand them. There in probably lies the message of a kind of apathy which has set in most of us – we are ok with a Santhal women hired from an agency to take your baby out to the park as we are busy posting our pics on international travel in Facebook.

It’s a political book and I felt at times she tried to address too many issues plaguing our society. I believe all writing is personal – you write what you feel the best and as I read I could feel at some point she was exorcising the ghost within.

But I loved the entire Kashmir episode – the strange relationship between the four characters – Musa, Tilo, Naga and Garson Hobbart. The description of Kashmir and the brutality was vivid and I could visualize the seething anger; lost beauty; sadistic brutality - it swung my emotions between rage, love, disgust and pity.

Overall, I came out of the book feeling like an incapable bystander who is busy running uncaring and uninvolved cocooned in his own world – not a comfortable feeling to end a book with.

Teary Eyed at times but Glowing with warmth - Three Thousand Stiches – By Sudha Murthy

The only reason I started reading this because Joyee my daughter is a great fan of hers and I was in a different world after finished reading Sapiens for almost 4 days. Reading Sapiens was like getting handover from GOD on what happened in past and what to look forward to in future. I perhaps needed some human touch – I had an option of Murthy or Chitra Divakurani. I am thankful I picked up ‘Three thousand Stiches’.

It was one of the simplest book I have read and I guessed why my children loved reading her books. But simplicity does not mean it does not have character – except for a few which I felt more for education/awareness like “I can’t We can’ which talks about AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or ‘A powerful Ambassador’ which talks about Bollywood and it’s impact outside India, ‘A day in Infosys Foundation’ which explains the contradictions / challenges one faces as a social entrepreneur most of them had a simple message told in a way she would have told her grandchildren.

I was so happy that Joyee (my younger daughter) reads it because as I read it I could feel what the DNA of a simple and honest life should be, what good upbringing means, how principles and values can be instilled in the family especially your children. How you can challenge the current norms of society and lead a life with passion from age 17 to age 67. It does not matter where you are born and where you study if you can instill strong values in your children they can go where their passion takes them.

My two best stories

Three thousand Stitches, which explained professional challenges of being a social worker if I may call her that and it took her almost 15 years to achieve what she wanted to do for the devadasi’s. What it takes to win the trust of a community, it’s not just about money which you are donating but sharing the problems and empowering people to find their own solutions. 

A life unwritten, which explains how her father (who I felt had a great influence on her) was posted in a village in pre – independence era and how she helped deliver a baby in a small hut with no electricity and no prior experience of delivering a baby. How he gave all his money to her and told her to go become a nurse and not give up in life after he heard that the baby and the girl will be killed. The fact that she wrote this store after 50 years (assuming she wrote it now) shows what impact that would have had on her. 

Life is all about learning from experiences, we are what we are because what we have gone through. With a frenetic life, we live these days; it’s so important to close our eyes, pull back and retrace our path to understand from our mistake or a touching experience – like reading this book. I went back in time and recollected things which I never did for a long while. Time spent with my parents or story telling sessions / walks / drives with my children who are away in boarding. I hope I have been a good father and instilled in them values which will create another Sudha Murthy. 

When I closed the book I almost felt she is my role model and I should send a mail to her saying if I could work with the foundation in whatever capacity I can.