Weekly Musings 3 - 19th July

Ode to Baba.

Today, 19^th - It has been 2 years since he passed away today. Unlike movies, books or even philosophy – experiencing your parent’s passing away is a unique experience for everyone just like much written about ‘giving birth to a baby’ experience.

Having lived away from home since my school, our interactions were limited to weekends or holidays. But what I experienced in last 4 years of his life, since he got detected by cancer made up for it. Especially the last 3 months before he passed away is something which will remain etched in my mind till I pass away to be with him.

It was a coincidence that the kids put up Inside Out – the Pixar movie this Friday– which talks about core memory, personality islands, long term memory area & memory dumps where memories start fading away.

In a world governed by a 10 hr work schedule and now COVID, baba’s death was another core memory orb stored away in my memory, which gets activated – on my drive back from office completely sapped of my energy, or if I am reading an article about Assam / Defence or while listening to Bengali folk music and also during my fortnightly chat with my cousin in Assam who was closest to my baba. These are the core memory orbs which got awakened and I would be under it’s influence for a while till sleep / work took over.

Everything is still vividly printed on my mind and it flashes in front of me – both his violent death and his peaceful face on top of a lifeless body which got shoved into an electric crematorium. There was tremendous pain in last month when I could barely hear him speak with the cancer spreading to most part of his lungs so much, that even taking a sip of water was painful.

Nothing made sense for a long time, I wanted to do lot of things in his memory, fulfilling his wishes like setting up an old age home / finishing school in his village. But with two growing up kids – reality caught hold me and kicked me out to make a living, creating a memory island which will become reality at some point in life.

One of my core memories of my Baba of course was his cooking, right from the time when I was a child – his cooking was legendary. Whether it is bhog in Durga Puja or Picnics, or cooking the pithe’ during Sankranti, dry fish, choonga (rice cooked inside bamboo’s) – he was the Master Chef in ourextended family. In 2018, even with cancer – he made his pithe’ during Sankranti, in fact he tried a dish which he never did in his life. In last 2 years he was staying with me – he would cajole me into helping him with cooking and keep instructing me – don’t drop it like this – oil will spill or the colour should be light brown, keep the flame low. In his heart he knew, after him – there is no one who could take the tradition forward. He was very proud of his seleti (selet is a place in the current Bangladesh) background and tried to inculcate / introduce as much of it in our modern home of butter chicken, baked vegetables & grilled fish. Well, he at least succeeded in putting a seed inside me.

So today, in his honour I made mustard fish curry, masoor dal & payesh (kheer). I remembered him cooking, instructing, guiding, scolding and then enjoying the food with relish, which my family also did. We made a small shrine in kitchen and paid homage to him. I want to continue the tradition and vowed to learn the art of making pithe’ in next 1 year. Promise.

To continue the talk on food & North East: Axione (Netflix) is a lovely, heart-warming movie about a group of north east teenagers wanting to make a special dish in their rented house in Delhi. The problem – the dish smells bad (read disgusting) to others. With an original cast (I am not even sure they are actors), it is almost like the film was shot using a handycam. Very natural and light. Brought out Delhi, it’s Punjabi culture and of course the travails of all north eastern community. Yes. There was a message – but not blatant. 

Talking about Delhi neighbourhood, Coincidentally I also saw ‘Beautiful day in Neighbourhood’ (Prime) - starring Tom Hanks and is an autobiographical film inspired by the article, Can you say Hero …? Written by Tom Junod and published in Esquire in 19 98.

It has a nice warm feeling around it, the film is slow, takes it’s time to move from one scene to other but somehow all of us in the family felt Tom Hanks over did it. The whole way of talking and acting like Fred Rogers. Although he worked hard to get into the shoes of Fred Rogers, (like he always does) – spending 100 of hours looking at the footage of the children’s documentary. For us in sitting in India, it is just another American movie, or another famous personality brought to screen. So, it did not touch us, we just saw it as another film. The last few lines come from that perspective.

But as I read more about Fred Rogers, I realized that he is an Enigma, a phenomenon of his own. And enacting his role is like playing Gandhi / Mandela – their version minus the politics. As I read more about him, I started admiring him / his purpose and his ability to touch people and in this case change them. As I read more about Fred Rogers and his punishing schedule

Read the article below on which the movie is bases and you will understand how tough the role is & how powerful the effect of his show has on children – especially those who are suffering. More importantly how it changed Tom Junod.

 https://web.archive.org/web/20191119032557/https://classic.esquire.com/article/1998/11/1/can-you-say-hero

https://www.atlantamagazine.com/news-culture-articles/how-mister-rogers-changed-the-life-of-atlanta-writer-tom-junod/

See this documentary, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Won%27t_You_Be_My_Neighbor%3F_(film) (Netflix) which won multiple awards in case you are keen to understand him better. My admiration for him grew & grew for him.

Tailpiece, COVID, is teaching different thing to different people. Yesterday for the 2^nd time Nikita, my elder daughter cut my hear. I got back to walking outside and little bit running after March. It really felt nice kicking and alive to experience the bright sunlight & the whole feeling of openness, the birds chirping all around and seeing a few smiles from fellow walkers– albeit under the mask.

Weekly Musing 2 (12th July)

Well, lockdown is back in Bangalore, does it make a difference. No. We are anyway hunkered down in our flat and doing everything possible to be safe, I think more importantly feel safe. The way things are going our status quo will not change much for next 2 month – which means it will be 6 months till we 4 go back to our own cities. That has been the case since last 2 yrs.

I was reflecting on the same, while we keep reading about how corporate culture will change, there will be a big shift in the family dynamics. Lockdown has taught us many things: Let us do it on our own. sharing responsibilities, giving space, being more patient, managing with less are the positive ones. Children are identifying the passive and active parents – seeking them out for their need. Yes, there are moments of hopelessness when the only inhouse cycle breaks or you know that ‘you will miss your last yr in boarding’ and adolescence lexicon enters our life – hug pile or was it cuddle pile(which is all dirty cloth piled up in their bed which they remove to throw).

Corporate world chugs along: Two, most (ab)used words in the lexicon of business is green shoots & pent up demand – I have not heard it as much as I have heard the same in all my last 25 years. And we have all kind of curves – the recent being a V curve recovery. Office time extends from 7 – 8 – 9pm. It’s amazing how people can so casually say ‘’anyway you are at home and not going to office, just take out some time and do it on Saturday?”. This is a definitely a V curve increase in work time. 

1 Dud 1 enigmatic, 1 loud musical & 1 Oscar worthy movies which kept me on the edge this week.

I choose my books & movie with care, except for the family sit downs like Dil Chahta Hain, Andaz Apna Apna & Abba – which I have lost count how many times I have seen. I am always on the watch, I go thru reviews like a maniac, add them to my Google Keeps & all 3 OTT channels . For me it’s not a hobby, it’s my stairway to heavenly bliss.

So after doing all that I had to frantically finish Atlantic By Column McCann, it was frustrating. The start was gripping: Bangalore, heavily overcast, cold, a wet feeling which refuses to go, a novel based in Ireland which also has similar weather or worse, it is end of WW 1 19 19, 2 pilots decide to cross the Atlantic in a re-modelled fighter – The book and the reality merged and I finished the first 100 pages without a stop. It’s a true story of Jack Acklok & Arthur Brown who are the first pilots to cross the Atlantic FROM Newfoundland to Ireland – and the story built around it or connected to it is worth a read but there are large portions of novel where the authors just meanders like the chapter on George Mitchel who is brokering peace in Ireland in 19 78. Till the end I could not figure why was the chapter needed. A highly acclaimed author – I must have picked it up for a bargain from Blossoms & yes of course it must have been one of the lists ☹

Read about it here https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/23/books/review/transatlantic-by-colum-mccann.html & if you have the courage you can start with his first book – Let the Great World Spin. I do not have the courage to do that.

On the other hand, A movie based on a similar premise (true story again) kept me on the edge for 2 and half hrs.  Ford vs Ferrari starring a brilliant Matt Damon & Christian Bale. Everything about the movie was exceptional, the production value, sound, editing. Although it got nominated in most award’s they did not get the key awards. It was tough film especially all the technical stuff about the engine, power, torque etc – Both of them were very convincing.

Both the book & the movie was about taking risk, let me clarify life risk – it’s not about a start up which fails. We are talking a non-stop flight across the Atlantic in 19 19, if anything happens in the plane you are dead  and in the movie we are talking endurance driving for 24 hrs – where one extra turn or a mistake by a driver & for no fault of yours – you are dead.  What does it take to do that, bravery, arrogance, challenge – I think all but above all, commitment to the cause – nothing else matters. These are outliers & they change the world. We write blogs and are happy 😊

Hamilton – the much-hyped musical from Disney (playing on Disney Hotstar) was thrust on me by my daughters. I love musicals, the sheer energy & the extensive co-ordination needed amongst the huge no of people and the sets always bowls me over. I did not need much convincing.

Hamilton is not a movie musical but a play production which was shot and converted to a quasi movie. Read about it here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton_(2020_film) ; https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/30/movies/hamilton-review-disney-plus.html

My younger daughter has been listening / singing the songs for last 1 week (now that the blog is delayed by a week) listening to it. While we plug in our headphones. I found it a bit loud, also not used to musicals which had rap songs (we had to put the subtitles on). It had all the ingredients of a musical – excellent co-ordination (I am always in awe of the co-ordinated actions by all the people on stage & how they remember all their lines), a range of emotions from some of the most talented folks I have ever seen. It is long – thrust on a Friday evening after any other working week when everyone thinks this is Armageddon – I had to slight headache by the time I hit my bed. See it when your mind is relaxed n free so you can absorb all the up’s and down’s of the movie.

Potrait of a lady on fire (a French film) was nominated for Palme D’Or in Cannes last year and won the Queer Palm, has a rotten tomatoes rating of 98% and imdb rating of 8.5. In recent days I read raving reviews by 2 of the Indian bloggers I follow, Jai Arjun & Mint. You can read some more here. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/13/movies/portrait-lady-fire-celine-sciamma.html

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/mar/01/portrait-of-a-lady-on-fire-review-celine-sciamma

I was a bit flustered by the end of the movie, I had a similar reaction when I saw ‘Blue Is the Warmest Colour’ another French movie which won the Palme D’Or in 2013. While Portrait of a lady on a fire was subtle to some extent on the lesbian relationship between the lead pair, Blue is the Warmest Colour was an out n out erotic movie. Portrait had excellent screenplay which I really admired and very subtle acting by both the lead pairs (the fact that the movie is based in 18^th century) – very little dialogue, very slow & lot of expressions which did the talking. But that was it, maybe I missed something. A tick on the list, nevertheless.