Recently, I was part of a program in which we shot retail executives telling what their dreams / favorite things / stars / holiday etc. Seeing them on the screen I felt it would be an interesting entry in my blog. I have titled it 1, as I don’t think I will have time to finish all of it in one shot.
Who influences me and why? If there were turning points / change in altitude / perspective then I can list down 2 chapters in my life.
The first phase was what I call the questioning phase - Ayn Rand, Floyd, and UG (U G Krishnamurthy).
During college days and often in my early working days when you hit the road in the morning and come back exhausted, these were my strong bed partners especially UG. He was (and is) still the toughest one to understand. I don’t think I have understood his thoughts completely but it ignited something in your mind. The unanswered / unexplained always fascinated me and that’s where UG settled in nicely raising some more questions, but not giving any answers.
Ayn Rand’s philosophy brought the expected change from a rabble-rouser who believed in experimenting with anything and everything in life to a more objective and rational approach in life. It changed me from a gang leader who fought for a cause to a more self-centered person. I started looking at life from an individual’s perspective – from what I can / I want and hence I will do it. That “will” to master the impossible, to be perfect in whatever I do is something I owe it to her.
Floyd was (and still) is the eternal companion in times of despair. It’s a romance I can’t let go. Smoke filled rooms, table lamp in the corner and floyd on the speaker. All rock bands – Jim Morrison, Deep Purple, GNR, Aerosmith…..used to get played in my room but ultimately it was Floyd who reined till the wee hours in the morning. Every now and then when nothing in the world makes sense I still turn to them (More on that – A tribute to Floyd, will upload later)
The second phase I guess was when I got introduced to Ravi Shankar in the year 2001, probably the worst phase of my life. There are times in life, when you suddenly realize the futility of it all when you stop questioning because you know there are no answers. When you get the feeling that you have everything still nothing can save you…. because the final call is not in your hand. You can only be a part of this entire game called life and you ask yourself “Is there a better way to live life?”
As an individual, I never believed in God (I still don’t) and hated guru’s how the hell can someone be so blind to be led by an individual and put up their poster and pray them, but I had lot of unanswered questions since my child hood which nobody could answer. Simple stupid question – Why is cow a holy cow? Why is their sexual nudity outside temples? Why do we fast during Puja? Why the ceremonies in puja / marriage etc. Everything was a comparison to the western culture “who” (in my mind) never did all this and still achieved so much.
My introduction to the “Art of Living” Foundation course for 7 days and subsequent introduction to Ravi Shankar & discourses answered many of these questions and calmed me down a lot. I won’t say I have found the meaning of life but yes lot of it is making sense.
I will close with something which Ravi says in one of his discourses , “Spirituality is not like a paper back novel which you pick up from a book store and start reading and hence experience enlightenment. The person needs to go through some pain, dissatisfaction something, which ignites that search ….to find the meaning of life, otherwise you don’t need it. If life’s on a roll, why bother.”
My belief is that, while there are philosophers / writers / singers / gurus who you will read / hear / see but the biggest influence is you & only you - you don’t know how much you can learn if you just pull back and mull over things, talk, discuss, read, explain, spend time with your family, put things in perspective.
But yes, you need to give time to them and yourself to start walking in this road to discovery.
