Amor Towles - Table for two

If Arundhati’s book was crushing and made me aware of her intense journey which was tough and as basic as it could be - staying in 1 room without furniture's, or fan or food at times working for days on drug induced haze and working to get 2 meals in place. And of course her mothers anger leading to her detachment with her family. It also made me aware to some extent her views on Narmada Bachao Andolan, Kashmir, Naxalites - a fight to save their own space & earth being plundered by privatization and politics of faith. The second part eas dark and made me feel helpless and anxious of what is happening to these people. I know reading a book or contributing some money or writing about them won’t help. What they need is a physical support not some armchair activism. It was not depressing but it was intense sadness which is not personal just like I felt this week when I read about Wangchuk being arrested or I read about deaths in Gaza and many other places. Their helplessness is something I can feel but cannot do much about.

On the other hand, few weeks back I read with the same feverish & intensity A table for Two. A collection of short stories which were so uplifting that I have not read something like that. Of course his more famous book "A Gentleman from Moscow” was similarly uplifting where the worst situation was converted to a positive manner.

The stories in A table for two are simple and gentle, it deals with day to day life, with the contradictions & self beliefs or principles we live with. Stories we tell ourselves only to be told by the author to re-examine them without preaching. Stories like “Bootlegger” or “I will survive” have a quiet sense of suspense which ends in a moment of sadness or beauty or an unexpected but gentle twist.

Many books you read for all the above but Amor Towles beauty lies in his craft, his sentences, dialogues, description - it’s like the cinematography or editing can ruin or make a film. I am a fan of his craft. My book of the year. 

https://www.amortowles.com/table-for-two-q-and-a/ read the authors interview. But after you have read the book.

Mary & Sussanne

For last 4 night + I was feverishly reading Arundhati Roy’s ode to her mother Mary Roy and to her journey from Kottayam to SPA, Delhi to acting, to script writing, Booker & now a activist writer. I am writing this post to exorcise my heightened awareness of her journey. It was intense almost like Shantaram the book about Mumbai underworld although this was about the under belly of Delhi and the powers that be (of Delhi).

I think most of us read The God of Small Things - loved it for reason not known to us (at least to me). It was not a love story, a crime novel or a saga. I couldn’t club it with anything it had it’s own language, own rhythm, own intensity - a latent anger which I could feel it in the language. The sarcastic tone / scorn. I read the book again few months back, when Somak who reviews books wrote about it in its 25th anniversary yr. And this time I understood a bit better - the whole story came back to me but I could relate to the English and the uniqueness much better. Having read 100’s of book in those 25 years I still found it unique.

But I never understood her move to activism - I never had the time. I read her next fiction which I found harsh and rough. It had the same intensity but the setting was a bizarre - graveyard, intersex women (hijra in common language) who has a guest house in the graveyard and lot of political overtone. The book explains why ? 

If you are curios about “Why does a person do what she does & why does a person become what she becomes?” you will fall in love with the book. Because the book is not just the journey but the Why? Of the journey - mental dialogues, view and perspectives which shaped her entry into films and then books. We all go thru it ? We all read about the success stories of CEO’s or great leaders - icons - They are printed because people want to become that. There are life lessons and aspirations for many.

This book falls does not fall into any of this category. Afterall, which booker winner has gone to jail, or has cases filed against her and gets death threats. Salman Rushdie maybe but for a different reason altogether.

I also loved it because in my heart I always wanted to be a rebel and became a small time one during my college and initial work life for a decade. The normal routine - nothing political. Then corporate life and raising a family consumed me, like it does for most of us coming from scarcity to money and it’s privileges.

I admired iconoclasts - still do. People who challenge the normal or do out of the ordinary. Hers was a unique combination of writing and activism which is become rarer and rarer in recent time. It’s a battle field which you get drawn into and need real belief, perseverance, ability to fight - physically and mentally, put relationships in block and a lot more.

I am too old for this - reading is the only way of experiencing it. Thank Orudhati.

Postscript:

After reading this I am curious to know why has Amitav Ghosh one of my favorite writer has become so obsessed with climate change that most of his recent books revolves around that.

Life = Thought Experiment

I could never read Gandhi’s book on his experiment, but yesterday I was engrossed in Arundhati Roy’s new book Mother Mary comes to me. As I read her relationship with mother and why she did her architecture and never went back home after 2nd and many other such decisions in life. This thought just popped into my head as I was taking a lazy morning walk on a start of Puja Holiday week. And I could feel it growing roots and shoots in my head. Hence some random thoughts below.

There are people who engineer their life and those who just float in the river of life and goes where it takes you. I always thought I am the later option but always went with the first option. 

So this year I started strengthening in our gym with an instructor after 3 months the instructor left and I too left the process going back to my daily routine of walk and exercise. At 56 most of my peers were doing this and I guess it helped. My body aches and occasions pulls and joins pains were becoming more frequent

Then I worked with a nutritionist for a holistic health n healing program to fix my stomach / sleep / throat etc. Worked with her for almost 5 months and learnt the basics - understood what works for me and what doesn’t, what can be done within the constraints of a family set up and now trying to follow that. 

After 3 years of volunteering, reading and learning joined an NGO and started more focused work on the triad of community - sustainability and SWM. I love the work, loved the people and happy that I can with some confidence say that I found my calling at 60.

After all this, my knee still hurts, back still aches - sleep is disturbed, have FOMO, have upheavals, get put off with peoples remarks and roam around like zombie at times when I don’t have enough sleep or go in a shell and sulk in a corner. 

So, folks close to me think, Dad’s - Hub’s confused, keeps trying things, giving up, unsure. Or maybe I have a low esteem and think this is what people thinks.

Yesterday I was listening to bohemian Rhapsody - In the end Freddie says - Nothing Really Matters. So True. But he did what he wanted to and maybe died a happy person.

Coming from an engineering background or maybe its just a capitalists thought that everything has to have a goal, output, solve something & when it doesn’t it irks us. Letting is a difficult proposition as we are hounded with our past experience and our natural instinct of tackling thing. Hard wired is more understood term.

I have been battling all this in the above examples of experimenting with myself. In the final analysis I go back to Freddie and I agree nothing else matters other than these experiments. Some make you stronger and some tire you out. Like the food battles I have been having at home and in my mind. (as by heart I am a foodie and the entire clan lives on junk food). 

I think I have rambled enough. Last word - Choose your battles and very clear when to Let Go else it can be a turbulent ride. But never say No to trying out new things.

C’est la vie