It has been 4 years since he passed away today. While I remember him everyday and ask for his blessings, today especially is a day when the memory of the fateful day comes back and floods you with a strong sense of sadness and finality. With a clear rational knowledge that we cannot turn back the clock and bring him back, the only way to remember him is his memory. Here are some of the fond ones.
Matu Kaka
It’s impossible to explain it in english or hindi but the story goes that when he came back for his furlough from the Air Force he had brought a bag load of this fruit which the kids enjoyed and after that he was known as Matu Kaka (uncle in bengali) to everyone. No one called him Bijoy, which was his real name. Generally a daak naam (nick name) is given at childhood so that the person can be easily called / fetched - Imagine calling Rituparno, Biswajeet. He is probably the only one I know whose name was given when he was 20+
True citizen of Air Force
His allegiance to the Forces was very deep. Even with stage 3 cancer he would drag me to CGHS for approval of treatment so that the chemotherapy can be done at Manipal & he even got his operation done from there and had complete faith in the doctor who was operating on him. He was on his feet on the 3rd day. This despite the fact that the process like any government organisation was time taking and used to take us ½ a day just to get the approval done - but he was very clear this was his right because of the service he had given.
Open Minded:
Although born around independence he was still one of the most open minded people regarding everything, education, marriage, smoking n drinking etc. He was not the typical Aamrish Puri you see in DDLJ and many other hindi movie dads. Most of the relatives despite the age barrier (lower side or upper side) treated him like a friend and confidant’. The respect he drew from people around him was immense - everyone listened to him in his village and villages around him. He was the wise one and always gave an even perspective.
Networked, Perfectionist and Passionate
He had all the traits of a founder. He was very passionate about his work and was known for his diligence & ownership. I learned a lot just by looking at him and hearing about his work and mostly his cooking where he will tirelessly go on perfecting the special sweets one would make during sankranti. And these were some of the traits I tried to imbibe in me when I started my work life. He spoke less but spoke after a few drinks (this also I imbibed from him :) and once told me ‘it doesn’t matter what you do, but be the best in that’ - I don’t remember when he told this to me but this line somehow is etched in my mind.
Personal Attention & Care
He really cared deeply about people around him - whether it’s folks in the village or few of his friends who were around in Delhi. His involvement was complete - I remember one of my cousin telling me that her husband surfers from diabetes & how for the 30 day vivit to her place he made him walk for 28 days, the first 2 days was spent in buying him a pair of shoe and lowers so he had no reason not to walk.
But having written the above passages just to get some load off my chest & clear my head I wondered what would be one line to summarise him, what would his tombstone say, what would be an epitaph - Do your best. Now I rest.
Day 18: 200 words/day challenge (637 words)
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