But I came out with a beautiful feeling of hope and survival and the meaning of true happiness. Its a Indie movie by Lulu Wang which became a slow hit in 20 19 after it’s Sundance release. I saw it in MUBI. There are few parallel themes of displacement and eastern & western philosophy of death & afterlife / respect for those who passed away. Generational conflict. And of course dealing with cancer.
The movie revolves around Nai Nai - grandmother in chinese who is detected with lung cancer stage 4 & doctors have given a time of 3 months. In chinese if a person has cancer apparently you can hide it from the patient and the doctors are OK with unlike US where it is illegal. So the entire clan descends in the pretext of wedding but actually to meet Nai Nai.
The movie is held together by Nai Nai & her grand daughter Billie, Zhao Shu Zhen(a Chinese actress) & Awkwafina (famous for Crazy Rich Asian & Kung Fu panda 4 - coming up). But it was Nai Nai - her expressions and bossiness as the head of the family, and her naughty chit chat with her grand children was the essential ingredient. Just loved her. Although she did not know that she has cancer she did everything to keep her spirits high and be healthy like the Tai Chi se would practice in broad daylight in the courtyard. Some people are embodiment of that ‘want to live whole heartedly / fully come what may and she was one of them. Maybe it’s a generational thing - most grand at least many grandmothers are feisty and full spirited and of course age defying.
The music & cinematography which beings out the melancholy of loss through it slow movement photography and long shots which in movie sets the mood and is so essential to suck you in. Both brought the effect of blurring the current and going into a space which is just our own - This is something I do when I just put my headphone and get lost in a world where there is no one else.
One of the recurring dream is based on a poetry I wrote for some one which ended with the line that let me just sink down to the bottom of the ocean and lie there with my eyes closed, it’s recurring thought which used to come to me for a long time in a phase and I would zone out from whatever I was doing and wherever I was.
My father had cancer - he also embodied the same spirit of bringing family together and being the life of the party. In fact 5 days from now Jan 15th is when we celebrate Sankranti. The year he passed away he was quite weak but he still stood and made pithe for all of us - that is one of the last memory I have of him teaching me how to make the same.
He enjoyed the life to the fullest even after cancer completing his bucket list.
Farewell. Baba.
Postscript: The best part of the movie which is based on a true story (The last scene showed - Nai Nai is still alive & doing tai chi 8 years after she was detected with lunch cancer stage 4).
I came emotionally so close to Nai Nai that a big smile came to my face when I saw that :)
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