On Turning 50

It’s a bright Sunday morning in Mumbai. The light streams through my window on my bed. Birds chirp on my balcony Bamboo trees and coconut tress sway to a gentle wind. I can feel the slight wintry breeze as it wafts in carrying with it a nice smell of flowers blooming in someone’s balcony. It’s a small 400 sq. ft flat in the central Mumbai district which has been my lonely abode for last 4 and half months. A supposedly transient stop over before my next abode. 

Yesterday I saw a 3 and half hour movie by Martin Scorsese movie called Irishman on Netflix. Starring all the yesteryear stars – Al Pacino, Robert De Niro & Pesci. I did not know how the time passed it was 11pm by the time the movie got over. The movie starts with Robert Di Nero in a wheelchair as he starts telling his story.

I just stepped into Kashmir through the pages of Madhuri Vijay’s – The Far Field, through the naïve eyes of a 24 year and her struggle to find a balance / objective / purpose of her life.

I booked ticket for all 3 of us to go Prithvi to see a play but more to go back to my nostalgic past. Prithvi was one of our favorite haunts when I used to sit with my friends with dreamy eyes and thoughts in a mind and heart which was like Vijay’s protagonist just started his career in the hustle and bustle of Mumbai – 25 years back.

I loved interviews, right from my childhood especially those where the star answers 10 odd questions about themselves. I often thought if I had to answer those questions what I would answer. One question which often comes to my mind is: If somebody asked how would you describe your self – I will answer, 2 phrases – both were used to describe me, a friend once told me I was a man with rose tinted glasses and a colleague once told me you are the passionate pivot – These I feel describe me and my journey.

When you are young and starting up, you are in a hurry to learn, to reach somewhere and give the best to your family and parents. After some time, you long for company, you start your family and life becomes like those postcards of tree lined housed with a nice gate and a lawn of your own, with children running all around – and birthday parties. Then something changes and suddenly everything looks so large, complex like a multi layered house – kind of labyrinth where you get lost…

And suddenly, you once again find yourself alone. You smile, you put up your rose- tinted glasses and start walking.

(Written on 4th Dec 2019)