I guess you come out with titles
like that if you are sleeping with Murakami for last 7 days. But yes, those
letters just formed in my mind today morning. Context – End of 2018, back from
a trip from RV – where we snatched some moments together between the 4 of us,
18+15+49+45, that’s the cumulative age of the family – although both my kids will debate that they will be 19 & 16 in 2 months’ time. But that was not
the point of putting those numbers up, those indicate the kind of
philosophical, dreamy, angst and silent conversations we had between us.
How does one look back at the
year? Our newspapers and TV sets have their hands full rather their paper and
channels full of what happened last year – from the silliest of memes to the
most astounding findings. This only proves that as human beings we all want to
look back and do a tally. Let’s say we just sort of grew with it. Unless you
are a character in Murakami’s book who will probably won’t realize that the year
has just changed.
Is it worth looking back? I ask
myself, so much time has gone by – is it worth digging the grave and pulling
out the loose stones, you don’t know what will come out along with it. Maybe…
My visual memory of 2018 is from
going to chemo sessions week after week, to discussions, travels & travails
of admission to college to those tireless travels to Mumbai and attend mind
numbing sessions at office. It was like a race to nowhere – and in all that
running around suddenly baba passed away. I saw it coming but no one expects it
to happen, even the actual events happened so fast that looking back you feel
like going back in time and making amends and do things maybe with more respect
to the departed. There was no time to grieve because there was my daughter's admission to be done then all the formalities to be completed – traditional puja’s
which kept me busy for a month and by the time I got back – work beckoned and
sucked me into it’s whirlpool. And very soon 2018 was over.
In a nutshell that was 2018, I
know it was physically and mentally the most exhausting year in last 50 years
and only time will tell how deep the scars are.
(Written some time in the beginning of 2019)
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