What does dream mean to you?

What does your dream mean to you? Do you chase it with all your passion till the time it comes true. Does it evoke the same passion day in day out till you achieve it or do you reach a point when you say. “This is it! It was good to have one! But now let me live life the way millions of others living”. I am sure we dream – but most of us live life without realizing our dream. Which is perfectly fine.

La La Land pushes you to re-kindle your dreams (your passion). It takes you back to the days when you were growing up you believed in your passion and wanted to do something which your heart believed in. Part musical – with an excellent cast (well matched), lovely photography, colorful location, haunting music and a simple storyline (Disneyish) – it was a pleasure to sit through 2 hrs. We all knew the answer – that their dreams will come true but as the story plays out in front of you – you adore every scene, every words spoken or sung, the detailing, timing, the thought which went behind the movie.

I remembered my growing up daughters a lot –

At 13 Joyee is still in her world of doctors, pilots, & teacher. It’s the flavor of season – what she reads, sees her friend’s experiences. There is a world of possibilities in her eyes. Dream on Girl! Few more years before the world starts dictating terms to you. Fill your heart with dreams so that you can make it come true.

At 16, Niki after making her first major decision of taking science (although she is brilliant in art – father’s confession) after Xth is realizing the enormity of XIIth exams (in India) and I can see that her dreams and now being shaped a lot by the world outside tilting towards rational choices, balancing the real versus her heart (dream), the possible future as defined by the world at large.

At 47 – the only dream I have is to help my daughters realize their passion. I want to do lot of things but these are mostly goals to push you to live life fully or making sense of a life over run by chaos at work (startup experience - anyone!!), roads (Bangalore – phew!!) & life in general (too many voices in my head). I did my 10 K under 60 as promised to me in the beginning of 2016. I hope to do at least one 21k in 2017. I have goals towards writing and doing social work. Yes I am passionate about all the 3 - running, writing and serving. But if it does not happen – So be it. I am not going to drown myself in one of the last surviving lakes of Bangalore.

So did I have dream and did I abandon it?

Well one of the dream I had was to make a film where dreams come true, seeing which people feel inspired to do something - La La Land is probably nearest to my dream coming true & hence the post before Monday blues hit me.

In 70’s when I grew up -  and 80’s when I finished my schooling and then college in early 90’s – the only constant was movies. From staying back late to watch the movies / repeat telecast of Oscar awards in our first Weston B & W shoe box TV, noting down names so that I can cajole my uncles to take me to see English movies, to borrowing VHS & a video player from video library to see pathetic prints of English movies to watching movies in Lumiere / World Movies which ushered in the world of movies to my TV screens to ensure that I see all Oscar / National Award nominated movies every year. My DVD shelf is always full and at any time will have at least 25 unseen movies.

My most admired / inspired person (read HERO)of the year is Hemanth who after 20 years of struggle – from editing / directing serials, to make corporate A/V’s to commercials (not the ones which you and I would have seen), to make a film which got an international award last year – I truly understand what it means to pursue your dream especially when it comes to movies (& in India).

Movies has been my only constant in all my ups and downs in life (in addition to books n music of course). Because it is only A movie which can bring it all together – create a world within your world where you can immerse yourself and stay their untouched by whatever is happening or not happening in your life. That’s the power of a cinema.

But I did not chase my passion in it’s true meaning – was never sure I can make films and make money. Living in scarcity helped me make my decision. But while I never chose to make a film but films chose me in many ways as I lived my life.

Being in advertising & marketing gave me a ring side view of film making - making the hilarious A/V’s for launch of a product or making a film for a business meet or sitting in an editing room from Mumbai to Trivandrum (Asianet studio) and doing the brand logo swipe – I cherished every moment. Spending 30k on a Sony Handycam – in 2001 even before the digital camera came into play so I could shoot my daughters growing.

I do not have any regret. I am living my life fully without any compromise but films like La La Land tugs your heart strings and re-kindles those innocent moments when you would close your eyes and tap dancers would come from nowhere.

Let me do that once last time who knows this time it might just be for real. And yes…I am going to fish out those SONY tapes and see if I can recreate some nostalgic moments.