Reading about Legends: Bob Dylan

The Bill Gates divorce and the articles which followed was like a personal loss to me. Unknowingly I had become a fan of his, reading his articles / talks / his book list. For a long time, my mind still could not accept it. I am 50+ so it is not that I am a teenager and infatuated with Justin Beiber. There are so many corporate scams which are written in India that now we have become thick skinned if we hear about ILFS (the latest one going around). There also these hushed departures when a person is asked to leave overnight and the stories start floating about inappropriate behavior, bribe etc.

Although I know that we are humans and are allowed some distractions, but I always wonder why people at such senior levels who have everything they need – money, fame,  would cross the line knowing that they are hitting the danger zone. Is it worth it? But corporate actions doesn’t interest me (I think most of it is greed) as much as the creative folks mind and heart.

Inside my heart somewhere there was always a hidden creative light which was shining like a sun till teenage and after the whole engineering/medical melodrama of life landed me in the fringes of creative world. So as a day job creativity took shape in videos, websites, emailers campaigns & not the way my teenage heart had visualized but not blank also – so a middle ground.

Hence, it’s fascinates me on how a person writes books, songs, makes certain movies – what’s the inspiration / drive, how they have grown. With the internet you can get drowned with opinions but there are a few columns / journalists I read time to time. And some land up on at your inbox – thanks to Netflix / Prime / Disney and not forget the Criterion channel & now MUBI. 

The Other place of discovery is Blossoms where in that mountain of books you just may find a book which you never knew existed. That is how I picked up Bob Dylan’s Chronicles: Part 1 (just for record there are no other parts – it is like the last book of GOT, still being written).

And when I did a search on Netflix, I found a Dylan documentary Rolling Thunder Revue directed by non-other than Martin Scorsese. With my playlists having most of the Dylan albums, it was easy to envelope yourself with Dylan, I was listening to Oh! Mercy and reading about how the album came into existence. I also Googled and read about New Orleans a melting pop of jazz, folk and music – that is place a house was converted into studio and Oh Mercy was recorded.

Bob Dylan’s book is like a blog in some sense, he just rambles in a way that it almost feels like he is narrating you a story. Imagine a big wooden house in heavy winter where the logs are being turned over to spread some warmth and both of us are sipping some scotch. The language is very different I think that is way he would have spoken in his early days and maybe now as well. So it’s not an easy rad and type set also not the usual font – this is a 2^nd hand book which was printed in UK in 2005.

What stuck me – one was his sense of observation & sense of detailing; it was like he was capturing the milieu of 50’s / 60’ & New Orleans so beautifully that I could visualize the whole scenario. A similar feeling comes to you when you listen to Tambourine Man or Hard rain is falling. I think that is what makes a great poet / writer. The words creates a whole new world in front of you – This are the words of Kazuo Ishiguro for whom Bob Dylan’s songs were an inspiration and why he got into writing.

I don’t want to judge Dylan or any of the greats because they also toil through the lives like we all do and what we wanted to do and we do sometimes are very different. Although his inspiration Woodie Guthrie just did that all his life – sing folk songs, his sings took a very different edge as he passed through his lifetime.

Looking at the documentary it did not feel any different what so many Hollywood movies have visualised the late 60’s & 70’s hippie culture. It was very different from what you saw in 1963 Newport Folk Festival (63/64) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pid0Ud4y3XY / https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeP4FFr88SQ ) – 2 of my favourite videos.

I still live with that image of Bob Dylan in my mind when I go to sleep.

For informed reviews read:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2004/oct/16/highereducation.biography

https://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/05/books/so-you-thought-you-knew-dylan-hah.html

https://nymag.com/nymetro/arts/books/reviews/10010/

Overstory: Richard Powers

 

Some books change your lens, and you start looking at things in a completely different way, and when that deals with the fundamentals of life – suddenly you start connecting the dots. Overstory is one such book which will make you look at trees in a completely different way.

The basic premise of the book is that trees talk to each other, take care of the world around it and are intelligent. The older generation / tribes / sages in the context of India understood this and hence they are a big part of myths and philosophy – like Rigveda / Bible etc.

Right from page 1 trees are symbiotically woven into every character and their family. I loved the choice of characters and for me, the first section – Roots which creates the foundation of all the 8 characters was the best part and held me spellbound by it’s lovely storytelling.

The second part – Stem is all about getting them together for the cause – which is protecting the trees from corporates who were razing them to ground to create resorts or properties. Some portion of it was long winded and but this is where the trees form the center piece – trees are described in a way that you can touch and feel them. I googled and saw the Red Wood trees and they are nothing like I had seen in Assam or the Himachal / Uttarakhand belt. These are like giants and, I cannot imagine a forest of such trees or how would somebody cut them.

Some portions of the book could have been smaller (630+ pages), some characters were there for no reason – at least I could not connect with characters like that of Ray & Nilay. But one would overlook these minor things and admire the ambition of the book – which is to write a book where trees are the real heroes. The book won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 2019. and is based on the principles laid out in The hidden life of trees By Peter Wohllwben.

As I was reading the book over a period of week ten days, I would go for a walk and look at the trees around my apartment with awe – imagining what’s happening inside the tree and all the birds, squirrels, woodpeckers, ants, mushrooms, bees, insects and the whole eco-system which exists because of these trees.

Trees always fascinated me and they have been part of many folklore, stories, poem. Here’s something from the book which I really liked:

We all travel the Milky Way together, tress and men….In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. Muir

The Bystander at 51

 Is that what I am,

A question comes to one,

who turned 51

There is a war out there:

at every turn of the page, every switch of a channel.

Sample a few:

People of Lakshadweep protest just to survive,

Farmers and their family from Punjab Protest to no avail

Villager in Uttarakhand protest against the hydro projects in Uttarakhand.

Can they stop:

The dams & ports being built.

Reverse the policies.

The pages of history are replete with

1000’s of people maybe millions

Laying down their lives

Knowing that

Very soon

They will soon become 

part of

Public amnesia.

The only thing this bystander can do,

Is to sign some petitions which come in Wapp

Or make some contribution to a welfare schemes.

Beyond that,

he lives in the imaginary world where;

the stories come to an end.

movies come to an end.

He knows'

 this war will only end

When the world comes to an end.

Another Round (Oscar Round Up 2)

Another Round is a Danish film which won the Oscar for the Best Foreign Film this year and came to Prime last week. It was real fun watching the movie. At my dinner table explaining the movie theme got the expected judgmental comments from the 3 women surrounding me – one more reason for boys / men to go drinking, scientific reasoning that alcohol is a depressant & so on so forth.

I was reflecting on the comments in my solitude as I walked alone after my dinner and thinking about the movie and all my drinking sessions which started from my Engineering College and ended when all of us went our way. Yes there were some good ones during the early years of work when we were up till late singing, chatting, arguing etc.

Yes, it was the magic potion which helps you open, loosen your tongue, be emotional – remove your covers and stand naked in your emotions in front of your best friends. Friends who will not get up tomorrow and judge you but more importantly come forward to help you, be sympathetic to your cause and lend you their ear / shoulder.

Can it happen coffee? For some maybe but not for me. We have grown up on having filter coffee / hot chai standing in a small tea shop – not Starbucks. Somehow I have never warmed up to it. For me like many of my batchmates – the mahoul or the ambience is everything. In college it used by table lamp in the corner and Pink Floyd, which then moved to Jagjit Chitra at some point & of course Kishore Kumar & some old soft rock was a must have. Those wear the days of cassette players & not mp3.

While the movie has a message – but it is bottled beautifully like a champagne. Uncork it to have some fun.

A more nuanced review here.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/another-round-review-raising-a-glass-to-self-improvement-11607028732

OSCAR 21 Round up - 1

 

In a world of movie nerds, OSCAR is the most popular pit stop. Despite all the criticism which it has been facing for diversity most movies are at the top of the heap & well made movies. 2021 was one of the rare years & I sincerely hope it is the last when I found most of them on OTT. I could see them from my home rather than waiting in que to see them in a movie fest. While I saw Father last week when my friend Jai shared it & wrote about it.

I got to see Nomadland, Minari & The White metal this week. If I include Father all four of them deal with people / situations which one would notice or read about, so it was a peak in to a very different world.

Nomadland:

In 2000 in one of our trips to Sariska, a small forest / sanctuary near Delhi – we saw this gigantic van parked and the owners were happy to show us the interiors which had everything which a luxirous home has – except that it had wheels. Driving back, we imagined like a newly married couple do – won’t it be great if we could do this as well.

Cut to 2021 – Hitting 50 & with 2 grown up adults, our dream is still to embark on a similar trip but on flights & trains. Inshallah!

Nomadland explores this nomadic nature of all of us. This urge to experience the freedom and new things and at my age this urge becomes more stronger because we are almost at the end of family responsibilities. At this age we seek people who also have gone through their life – most lived life is imperfect and there is a kinship a symbiosis which does not need much words. Just being together and in nature is fine.

But for Fern it was not fun, but a need borne out of the fact that the city Empire, Nevada had shut down due to recession forcing all its residents out. On her own since her husband passed away & with hardly any social security balance or savings – she lived on the van did odd jobs as she moved from state to state. Working with Amazon fulfilment centres or helping big farmers in their harvesting season – she barely managed to survive. And like her she meets many Swankie who is suffering from Cancer and in her last stages, Bob whose son died 3 years back and now he organizes these large gathering of van dwellers or Linda May who want to build an sustainable earth ship dwelling.

In a way the movie also depicts the fractures in the American society (maybe most capitalist societies including India) which worships money and choice and meritocracy. For what? People give their life and freedom to build something and under the burden of mortgages and other commitments – live a borrowed life. Swankie, Linda or Bob – all of them were grieving and the van was their way to make their vision come true.

Lovely cinematography & hard hitting acting by Frances McDormand, which is her forte, makes you think much after the credits roll by.

Below are 2 interviews which explains the deep involvement of both the lead actor & director. They both won the Oscar.

https://www.indiewire.com/2020/09/nomadland-interview-chloe-zhao-1234584703/ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc8X-6HI9d4

Ode to a new breed of story tellers

3 years back I read Sapiens & was stunned. I had never read a nonfiction book like a Murakami book. I just could not put it down. It was like a person with God’s eye who came back to earth and saw everything and then decided to create a movie out of it. Instead, it was a book I could carry around airports, taxi rides, loo and finished it in few days. I was addicted. I read all the remaining books but nothing compared to the first one – well success has it’s effect even on intelligent sentients. Ask Malcolm Gladwell.  

Thanks to my 12^th grader at home due to lockdown, I read Bio Mimicry by Janine Benyus. It was a fantastic look at nature, how the people in the past were much wiser than us in using things from nature. How scientists, designers are learning from nature and creating things which are more adaptable to nature. The language used and the visual description of professors, researchers and their love and passion for their subject was explained so beautifully – that you could visualize the author standing on front of a grass land or listening to a professor who has been studying about a certain variety of seed, nurturing it almost like his own baby & trying to explain all that in 30 mnts. Imagine the prof from Back to the Future.

Now, I am half-way through Origin Story, By David Christian which tackles the story of our origin, solar system, big bang theory, atom and so on so forth. Again you will read about science – where he talks about love, jealously, trench coated villain – and yes he is talking about science.

There are many people I know (and we all know) who have some knowledge about so many things. But Are you a good story teller, you may not write a book but how do you make a cab ride on the middle of night into a great story (this was a topic of a stand up comedy which I saw), or how do you explain the Arab conundrum to a 12^th grade (askmom.com – the wife) this was the conversation I enjoyed during my night walk yesterday?

Giving your story a shape take time & effort, tons of dedication and a sense of purpose, a belief that nobody have heard this before – or this can change the perspective.

Good writing & story tellers (I include movies in this) inspire wannabe story tellers like me. It re-kindles the emotion which goes dormant or gets covered under the carpet of living life for 5 days and tries to sneak out over the weekend 😊

Pause

In a time like this, the world needs more storytellers, people who can go beyond the cacophony to make sense of everything one would experience in this hyper connected world like ours from morning to evening. I am not overtly connected – on weekdays my only connection to the outside world is the business newspaper which is essentially for my job. Although many a times I wonders how it helps. Maybe it’s just a habit which I have to shed.

But weekend brings Mint Lounge which has news from here and there, articles written by people with a depth and ability to connect dots or throw flashlight on things which make you feel hopeful of this world or gives you a peek at things, wanting to research it a bit more or see a video to understand he topic a bit more. By the time I finish the paper a sense of wonder surrounds me. And for me it’s the Pause I look forward to every weekend.

This weekend I read about this article on Anthropause by Rohini Nilekani where she talks about the impact of lockdown on the animals and how it has impacted them positively. It was refreshing positive piece in an otherwise a gasping India.

Having stayed in Delhi / Jaipur where we braved the winter – we have grown with Pasmina and it’s myth’s (it can pass through a ring). I never knew that there are families living in Ladakh’s cold desert, the Changtang plateau and raise a special breed of goats in difficult conditions of Ladakh which gives the world the famed pashmina shawl. They have been doing this for generations but now are looking at stopping the same because of very low income. This gives a totally different perspective on pashmina and make you think “What really goes behind the click which we do in Amazon without blinking an eye-lid.

An article on Satyajit Ray whose birth centenary was on 2^nd May – where the writer explains about the movie ‘Heerak Rajaar Deshe’ and why it was a very bold movie to be made just after emergency because the movie was a satire on the govt. How Ray maintained the continuity and look and feel of the actual story written by his grandfather. Small tit-bits for a movie-holic like puts helps pass the days with a smile/

Then there is lockdown experience shared in columns which are meant to be talking about food / tea where the human element of a family congregating for food and takes precedence over recipe or tea. Reviews of books which not only review the book but explains the context of the book so nicely that you want to get hold of the book as soon as delivery opens in Amazon.

These days, rather for almost 2 years now – I am wearing the lens of my 12^th class daughter. Every time I would read an article or see something interesting on you tube the only thought was “Oh this is such a fresh perspective on science, sustainability, anthropology, biology and so on”. I will hurriedly take the cutting and send to her (since she was in boarding) with scribbles on top / bottom or below”.  Although I really do not know how many she read, how it helped.

But that is the 21st century quality which I want her to build, there is an abundance of data / views / articles. How do you synthesize them or connect the dots to give a fresh perspective and create a story – a life story in her case. 

The Father

 

Some movies touch you, but Father was devastating. For some time, I was speechless - as credits rolled, I closed my eyes and was listening to the background score and I could only see Anthony Hopkins crying in the last scene in front of me.

Equally touching was the role played by Olivia Coleman as the daughter as she plays the role of a daughter seeing his father in a state of complete confusion and loss because of his losing memory.

Especially touching is the scene when she leaves him at a care-giving home and goes to Paris.

All this from a first-time director who had experience it firsthand from her grandmother who was suffering from dementia when he stayed with her. His experience led him to write the play which was very successful. As I write this, I read about Anthony Hopkins winning an OSCAR.

2 yrs back when my father had a relapse of lung cancer and I started looking after him. Feeding him, bathing him, cutting his hair. As days passed the energetic Air Force man who used to walk for an hour shrunk and lay on his bed, then his voice went and when he would try to speak only air would swoosh out – his frustration in not able to speak and the pain he felt just to speak a few words or sip a drop of water – the images kept me awake, came in front of me when I was in a flight or I would wake up at night when I was sleeping.  

If there ever is Father 2 – it should be about Anne.

Some interesting article on making of Father.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/how-the-father-explored-the-painful-descent-into-dementia

 https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/behind-screen/how-the-father-production-designer-evoked-disorientation-in-film-about-memory-loss

Lockdown Notes: Dreams

Bangalore showers just made a comeback and so did the Lockdown. The city has come to a standstill – an eerie silence surrounds my apartment which is next to a busy road. The only noise which breaks this silence is the shrill sirens of ambulance carrying someone whose life they can save & shrill calls of vultures who roam the sky looking for food. A dichotomy – an impasse which we are living through in the past year

The strong breeze coming in from door meshes with the melodious voice of Jagjit & Chitra from their album Passion – a cassette which played in my Walkman 100’s 1000’s of times perhaps – gifted by a dear friend. Songs have a way of transporting you to a past – for me this was the time of dreaming and. A life lived in songs, pages of books, scenes of movies and friendships – a dreamy sequence of life which transformed into a life consumed by the necessities of life.

The weekend is an extended pause where I feel the breeze, the words I read, feel the scenes played out in front of me and try to experience the dream like state I experienced long back. Now I see the dream in my children and more than mine I want their dreams to be fulfilled.

All dreams don’t get fulfilled or if they do, they turn out to be different & the lockdown has taught us all to be in the present and be ready to step into unknown.

We have learnt to look around at the despair of so many people, close friends in ICU, the chatter in the group where friends are trying to organize oxygen for someone and feel lucky.

Lucky at being just your normal self.

March Books

It’s been a month since I got called back on duty – a year after lockdown. I returned to a shelf of books unread. One year back when I went back home – with No Amazon & No Blossoms, I dipped into our cupboard full of books and created a shelf of books which I could not finish.

While I do not remember all of them three of my biggest finds were

-        Salman Rushdie – In my 4^th attempt I was mesmerized by the magic realism of Midnight’s Children.

-        Kazuo Ishiguro’s Remains of the Day – I was in love with his beautiful prose, every sentence was like a crafted showpiece.

-        Natsuo Kirino’s Grotesque – gave me a glimpse of Japanese society and its impact on children’s mind, the writing style was completely unique, non – linear and told in the form of diary

20 20 – was to be the year of graphic novels, so I had ordered Maus, Persepolis & Jerusalem, I managed to lay my hands on 2 of them by the time Jerusalem was going to be shipped – I had left.

20 20 was also the year when the line between work & home blurred, there was no start time & no end time. At work expectation was you can continue as long as there is work, at home you had duties which you did without asking. So, by the time you wanted to sleep – you just slept.

Me being Me (what gets measured gets done + time will not come back philosophy)– I decided I will read at least an hour before I sleep. I also decided to write (not type) for 2 hours in a week. So, all my virtual writing – i.e blog came to a stop (since I did not want to stare at another screen) after my initial enthusiasm of a weekly blog.

2021 – It’s a coincidence that I am writing my first on 21^st of March 21. 21 a month will be ambitious – but I want to give it a shot. March can be a practice month. I always wanted to capture small thoughts which come to your mind – when you are walking down the street and see a mother & daughter or when I walk in the park and see things. But by the time I reach home something else takes over. Like the loose change in the pocket which you put it in a box – these thoughts gets added to those which you had stored somewhere in your sub conscious.

Principles of Prediction: Anushka Jasraj

Most of these are not short stories, but these are incidents which brings out a point of view / slice of life – which is different and cannot be typecast as a thriller / romance etc. Many readers may (on the surface) find it incomplete if they read them in a rush because lot of it is unsaid and it is expected that reader will grasp it – like in Drawing Lessons – was it the sexual attraction between student & teacher (both women) or did the student wanted someone because of her husband’s lack of interest in her. Radio Story – is written like a story and is one of the best, Elephant Maximus is a cute store of a child who becomes famous because she steals cats but what if you have to steal an elephant.

I am not an avid short story reader – but in recent days there are a spate of books which are like an extension of articles / blogs which you write. We grew up reading Ruskin Bond, Satyajit Ray’s Felu Da, O henry and one of my favorites – Banaphool – a Bengali writer.

With Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & Blogs (which I think is dead and nobody reads it) – the story telling has changed dramatically over last 10 years. With social media in our hand everyone is a storyteller, so you get to read all kind of stories across corners of India / World & people you did not have access to– it’s no longer only books and known authors. The good thing the universe has expanded, and the bad thing is over exposure / commercialization of everything.

I liked the book for its sincerity, somehow the stories are written in a very natural way so you empathize with the characters and the stories. The writer is hidden like it should be.

Inquilab: A Decade of Protest

This is an anthology of essays / articles / speeches / letter’s written by Anna Hazare, Ramachandra Guha, Nayantra Sehgal on one side and Kanhaiya Kumar, Mohua Moitra, Rana Ayyub & others. It has a thought provoking forward written by Swara Bhasker and in essence it tries to capture the various voices of dissent and civil disobedience.

Born in the MBA league the only paper I have read in last 25 years is the pink paper. For someone who had quit social media & skips political pages and goes straight to art and literature I wanted a primer on what’s happening around me. Make sense of today’s India which is becoming more & more right wing and dictatorial in squashing dissent in any form.

This book is also a gift for Joyee who will step out of valley this summer and into the real world.

Persepolis: Marjane Satrapi.

This is the book of the month. In one of those night when I was too tired to read a book – text or see something on OTT I decided to go midway and picked Persepolis from my shelf. I could not put it down, it’s so beautifully written – more importantly drawn that no doubt it became a classic and won so many awards. Story from a child’s POV that too 14 – 18 is always throwback time for us parent. Joyee is 18 so I am technical in the middle of it. It’s a must read for one and all. Period.

Maya Angelou: I know why the caged bird Sings.

This is one of the books we had gifted the kids and after they finish it comes to us (that way all of us read each other’s books – mostly). Maya Angelou is much celebrated person, there are videos, speeches, articles (like I mentioned above) in today. The book was first published in 19 69 when I was born. So it’s a half a decade old book and talks about her growing up that is 30’s and the suppression of Blacks by Whites and gives a glimpse of the society in early 30’s – ghetto’s of South and the slow migration of black folks up North. I liked it in parts – but we have been fed on black vs white stories by Hollywood so much that beyond a point it becomes a bit tiring.

The best part of the books is her relationship with her momma (grandmother) – whom she fears (like we all did), her brother (who was like a twin to her and only support system) and her adoration of her mom & dad who was like a king & queen in her eyes.  The way she imagines her world is beautiful and touching and funny at time.

Weekly Musings 4 – 26th July

Trust Issues.

Last week I wrote about neighborhood, this week on Monday I got a call from someone who is staying below our house in our LIG flat in Delhi. He sent me multiple snaps of seepage and telling me that my balcony is flooded and that is the reason for the seepage. The last time I went was in 2018 after baba’s passing away – to do shradh. Now Delhi (where I have lived for few years) is not a place where you can trust anyone beyond your inner circle. Close friends whom you know. While everybody will call you beta as in your son but you know that it’s just a 4 letter word. So, when another neighbor called saying that he will get the keys and see what can be done. All the thoughts which came to my mind was – Will he really do it? Is it safe? If something breaks or he misuses the house etc. But he got everything done, of course – it required an effort, getting someone, supervise it and get it cleaned etc. Heart in heart I still worry if everything is safe.

But it set me thinking, typically why was my first reaction negative / distrust. The answer of course all my years of struggle / fights / arguments with auto - rickshaw, vegetable vendors and people whom I met during my daily life in Delhi. And that is how a society leaves its imprint on an individual and from individual to family and friends and so on some forth. We live our life under it’s influence as they become deep rooted in us.

I had stayed away from these people who were there to give company to baba when he was there alone even if though it was an occasional hello, or a HOLI get together. While I never showed any disrespect to them – I never cared for them as well. I guess now I can feel a sense of gratitude towards them not only for helping me out but being there for baba.

Take that chance.

2 most talked about books of 2020

The Burning: By Megha Majumdar & Djinn Patrol on the purple line: By Deepa Anappra

Common themes: Both have similar mileu – about lives of people living in slums / shanties. The difficulty they go thru, their aspirations and issues. The divide & the relationship between them and the rich, how they live on each other or survive because of each other or feed on each other. It can be looked at many way’s but this is a unique characteristic of India.

Maids are the biggest support system of homes of corporate India. The relationship is very symbiotic – trust & respect is crucial for both parties. Like a team member or fellow colleague or boss – it either clicks or it doesn’t.

Both also have children as key protagonists, in fact in Djinn Patrol the story is about kids

The Burning is starker, Jivan a Muslim living in a small shanty town in Kolkata is arrested for posting a negative message about the govt. She gets implicated in a terrorist activity and goes to jail. There is a parallel story of her PT sir in the schools she goes to and a hijra (eunuch) whom she teaches called Lovely. While PT sir aspires to be a politician, Lovely aspires to be an actress. Whether they succeed is something one has to read to find out but to achieve their dreams they have to turn a blind eye to their heart and conscience. And Jivan becomes the collateral damage.

DjinnPatrol is more fun. Especially because – the book is written as a voice of a nine-year-old boy Jai. It is literally what is going on in his mind and in his language – like he calls the people living in apartments as hi-fi people. The story is all about children who start disappearing in a busti in Delhi (slum) and how is investigating mind tries to solve the mystery. You have to read it to find out if he can.

We all have our reasons to read books. While some books will be universally liked like Dan Browns Da Vince Code / Jeffrey Archer books – because they take you to a different world. You fly with their imagination and get involved in their stories and plots and sub plots. It’s a different world you enter through these pages and leave behind your present state / environment / things around you. It’s your escape.

Both these books are too real, especially reading them sitting in India where last week in Bangalore a house was ransacked because someone from that house had posted in Facebook comments which effected the sentiment of a religious community. 2 people killed, 15 injured, multiple arrested and army had to do a flag march to calm down situation. With rains lashing Mumbai, where I stay for work – I can visualise how life would be for those sleeping on roadside in cubicles made of card board boxes, tin sheds, tarpaulins.

I won’t say I did not enjoy the books but maybe I am in a state where I need the flights of fantasy more than the realistic depictions of daily lives. 

Weekly Musings 3 - 19th July

Ode to Baba.

Today, 19^th - It has been 2 years since he passed away today. Unlike movies, books or even philosophy – experiencing your parent’s passing away is a unique experience for everyone just like much written about ‘giving birth to a baby’ experience.

Having lived away from home since my school, our interactions were limited to weekends or holidays. But what I experienced in last 4 years of his life, since he got detected by cancer made up for it. Especially the last 3 months before he passed away is something which will remain etched in my mind till I pass away to be with him.

It was a coincidence that the kids put up Inside Out – the Pixar movie this Friday– which talks about core memory, personality islands, long term memory area & memory dumps where memories start fading away.

In a world governed by a 10 hr work schedule and now COVID, baba’s death was another core memory orb stored away in my memory, which gets activated – on my drive back from office completely sapped of my energy, or if I am reading an article about Assam / Defence or while listening to Bengali folk music and also during my fortnightly chat with my cousin in Assam who was closest to my baba. These are the core memory orbs which got awakened and I would be under it’s influence for a while till sleep / work took over.

Everything is still vividly printed on my mind and it flashes in front of me – both his violent death and his peaceful face on top of a lifeless body which got shoved into an electric crematorium. There was tremendous pain in last month when I could barely hear him speak with the cancer spreading to most part of his lungs so much, that even taking a sip of water was painful.

Nothing made sense for a long time, I wanted to do lot of things in his memory, fulfilling his wishes like setting up an old age home / finishing school in his village. But with two growing up kids – reality caught hold me and kicked me out to make a living, creating a memory island which will become reality at some point in life.

One of my core memories of my Baba of course was his cooking, right from the time when I was a child – his cooking was legendary. Whether it is bhog in Durga Puja or Picnics, or cooking the pithe’ during Sankranti, dry fish, choonga (rice cooked inside bamboo’s) – he was the Master Chef in ourextended family. In 2018, even with cancer – he made his pithe’ during Sankranti, in fact he tried a dish which he never did in his life. In last 2 years he was staying with me – he would cajole me into helping him with cooking and keep instructing me – don’t drop it like this – oil will spill or the colour should be light brown, keep the flame low. In his heart he knew, after him – there is no one who could take the tradition forward. He was very proud of his seleti (selet is a place in the current Bangladesh) background and tried to inculcate / introduce as much of it in our modern home of butter chicken, baked vegetables & grilled fish. Well, he at least succeeded in putting a seed inside me.

So today, in his honour I made mustard fish curry, masoor dal & payesh (kheer). I remembered him cooking, instructing, guiding, scolding and then enjoying the food with relish, which my family also did. We made a small shrine in kitchen and paid homage to him. I want to continue the tradition and vowed to learn the art of making pithe’ in next 1 year. Promise.

To continue the talk on food & North East: Axione (Netflix) is a lovely, heart-warming movie about a group of north east teenagers wanting to make a special dish in their rented house in Delhi. The problem – the dish smells bad (read disgusting) to others. With an original cast (I am not even sure they are actors), it is almost like the film was shot using a handycam. Very natural and light. Brought out Delhi, it’s Punjabi culture and of course the travails of all north eastern community. Yes. There was a message – but not blatant. 

Talking about Delhi neighbourhood, Coincidentally I also saw ‘Beautiful day in Neighbourhood’ (Prime) - starring Tom Hanks and is an autobiographical film inspired by the article, Can you say Hero …? Written by Tom Junod and published in Esquire in 19 98.

It has a nice warm feeling around it, the film is slow, takes it’s time to move from one scene to other but somehow all of us in the family felt Tom Hanks over did it. The whole way of talking and acting like Fred Rogers. Although he worked hard to get into the shoes of Fred Rogers, (like he always does) – spending 100 of hours looking at the footage of the children’s documentary. For us in sitting in India, it is just another American movie, or another famous personality brought to screen. So, it did not touch us, we just saw it as another film. The last few lines come from that perspective.

But as I read more about Fred Rogers, I realized that he is an Enigma, a phenomenon of his own. And enacting his role is like playing Gandhi / Mandela – their version minus the politics. As I read more about him, I started admiring him / his purpose and his ability to touch people and in this case change them. As I read more about Fred Rogers and his punishing schedule

Read the article below on which the movie is bases and you will understand how tough the role is & how powerful the effect of his show has on children – especially those who are suffering. More importantly how it changed Tom Junod.

 https://web.archive.org/web/20191119032557/https://classic.esquire.com/article/1998/11/1/can-you-say-hero

https://www.atlantamagazine.com/news-culture-articles/how-mister-rogers-changed-the-life-of-atlanta-writer-tom-junod/

See this documentary, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Won%27t_You_Be_My_Neighbor%3F_(film) (Netflix) which won multiple awards in case you are keen to understand him better. My admiration for him grew & grew for him.

Tailpiece, COVID, is teaching different thing to different people. Yesterday for the 2^nd time Nikita, my elder daughter cut my hear. I got back to walking outside and little bit running after March. It really felt nice kicking and alive to experience the bright sunlight & the whole feeling of openness, the birds chirping all around and seeing a few smiles from fellow walkers– albeit under the mask.

Weekly Musing 2 (12th July)

Well, lockdown is back in Bangalore, does it make a difference. No. We are anyway hunkered down in our flat and doing everything possible to be safe, I think more importantly feel safe. The way things are going our status quo will not change much for next 2 month – which means it will be 6 months till we 4 go back to our own cities. That has been the case since last 2 yrs.

I was reflecting on the same, while we keep reading about how corporate culture will change, there will be a big shift in the family dynamics. Lockdown has taught us many things: Let us do it on our own. sharing responsibilities, giving space, being more patient, managing with less are the positive ones. Children are identifying the passive and active parents – seeking them out for their need. Yes, there are moments of hopelessness when the only inhouse cycle breaks or you know that ‘you will miss your last yr in boarding’ and adolescence lexicon enters our life – hug pile or was it cuddle pile(which is all dirty cloth piled up in their bed which they remove to throw).

Corporate world chugs along: Two, most (ab)used words in the lexicon of business is green shoots & pent up demand – I have not heard it as much as I have heard the same in all my last 25 years. And we have all kind of curves – the recent being a V curve recovery. Office time extends from 7 – 8 – 9pm. It’s amazing how people can so casually say ‘’anyway you are at home and not going to office, just take out some time and do it on Saturday?”. This is a definitely a V curve increase in work time. 

1 Dud 1 enigmatic, 1 loud musical & 1 Oscar worthy movies which kept me on the edge this week.

I choose my books & movie with care, except for the family sit downs like Dil Chahta Hain, Andaz Apna Apna & Abba – which I have lost count how many times I have seen. I am always on the watch, I go thru reviews like a maniac, add them to my Google Keeps & all 3 OTT channels . For me it’s not a hobby, it’s my stairway to heavenly bliss.

So after doing all that I had to frantically finish Atlantic By Column McCann, it was frustrating. The start was gripping: Bangalore, heavily overcast, cold, a wet feeling which refuses to go, a novel based in Ireland which also has similar weather or worse, it is end of WW 1 19 19, 2 pilots decide to cross the Atlantic in a re-modelled fighter – The book and the reality merged and I finished the first 100 pages without a stop. It’s a true story of Jack Acklok & Arthur Brown who are the first pilots to cross the Atlantic FROM Newfoundland to Ireland – and the story built around it or connected to it is worth a read but there are large portions of novel where the authors just meanders like the chapter on George Mitchel who is brokering peace in Ireland in 19 78. Till the end I could not figure why was the chapter needed. A highly acclaimed author – I must have picked it up for a bargain from Blossoms & yes of course it must have been one of the lists ☹

Read about it here https://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/23/books/review/transatlantic-by-colum-mccann.html & if you have the courage you can start with his first book – Let the Great World Spin. I do not have the courage to do that.

On the other hand, A movie based on a similar premise (true story again) kept me on the edge for 2 and half hrs.  Ford vs Ferrari starring a brilliant Matt Damon & Christian Bale. Everything about the movie was exceptional, the production value, sound, editing. Although it got nominated in most award’s they did not get the key awards. It was tough film especially all the technical stuff about the engine, power, torque etc – Both of them were very convincing.

Both the book & the movie was about taking risk, let me clarify life risk – it’s not about a start up which fails. We are talking a non-stop flight across the Atlantic in 19 19, if anything happens in the plane you are dead  and in the movie we are talking endurance driving for 24 hrs – where one extra turn or a mistake by a driver & for no fault of yours – you are dead.  What does it take to do that, bravery, arrogance, challenge – I think all but above all, commitment to the cause – nothing else matters. These are outliers & they change the world. We write blogs and are happy 😊

Hamilton – the much-hyped musical from Disney (playing on Disney Hotstar) was thrust on me by my daughters. I love musicals, the sheer energy & the extensive co-ordination needed amongst the huge no of people and the sets always bowls me over. I did not need much convincing.

Hamilton is not a movie musical but a play production which was shot and converted to a quasi movie. Read about it here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton_(2020_film) ; https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/30/movies/hamilton-review-disney-plus.html

My younger daughter has been listening / singing the songs for last 1 week (now that the blog is delayed by a week) listening to it. While we plug in our headphones. I found it a bit loud, also not used to musicals which had rap songs (we had to put the subtitles on). It had all the ingredients of a musical – excellent co-ordination (I am always in awe of the co-ordinated actions by all the people on stage & how they remember all their lines), a range of emotions from some of the most talented folks I have ever seen. It is long – thrust on a Friday evening after any other working week when everyone thinks this is Armageddon – I had to slight headache by the time I hit my bed. See it when your mind is relaxed n free so you can absorb all the up’s and down’s of the movie.

Potrait of a lady on fire (a French film) was nominated for Palme D’Or in Cannes last year and won the Queer Palm, has a rotten tomatoes rating of 98% and imdb rating of 8.5. In recent days I read raving reviews by 2 of the Indian bloggers I follow, Jai Arjun & Mint. You can read some more here. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/13/movies/portrait-lady-fire-celine-sciamma.html

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/mar/01/portrait-of-a-lady-on-fire-review-celine-sciamma

I was a bit flustered by the end of the movie, I had a similar reaction when I saw ‘Blue Is the Warmest Colour’ another French movie which won the Palme D’Or in 2013. While Portrait of a lady on a fire was subtle to some extent on the lesbian relationship between the lead pair, Blue is the Warmest Colour was an out n out erotic movie. Portrait had excellent screenplay which I really admired and very subtle acting by both the lead pairs (the fact that the movie is based in 18^th century) – very little dialogue, very slow & lot of expressions which did the talking. But that was it, maybe I missed something. A tick on the list, nevertheless.

Weekly Musings - 1

It’s been 75 days, displaced from my workplace, just like any other migrant worker I came back home.

Is this the new normal – for 5 days we hang on to the phones & PC like our life depends on it. On sat our home is a battel ground – we go down with empty suitcases and come back loaded with whatever Big Basket has to offer, the wife washes every single packet with soap and vegetables with baking powder, the washing machine runs 3 times and after the iron grills of balcony are sanitized, we display our cloths to the world. The kitchen is on overdrive in preparation for the week – what ever pre-cooking can be done, is done so that minimum time is spent in cooking during weekdays. By Sunday evening most of us are battle weary and rest our aching body and get some sleep so we can wake up with a battle cry with our phone in our hand. All of us in our corners – till Friday beckons.

Long back, in one of my post drinking poetic phase, I had said to the drunk people surrounding me. I just need my books and music to pull me through the rest of my life. Well, a lot happened between that night and now. My new normal in the weekend is immersions mostly in reading the weekend newspaper which is my umbilical cord to what’s happening in the non-business world, immersion in books & movies. While the newspaper was added a month back books and movies were my sole companions for the first 60 days.

This week was high on emotion & relationships:

Sun Catcher, By Romesh Gunesekera is a growing up story of Kairo and his idol Jay in a town in Sri Lanka. It’s 19 64, the country is going through it’s communism phase of land reform, nationalisation, Sinhala is about to be made the national language. Kairo, shy, confused of his emotions, trying to define the language of grown up’s eyes, not sure what is right and wrong. Jay is just the opposite – he knows everything, a few years older to him, he is a self-taught environmentalist n automobile engineer n businessman – all rolled in one. While he idolises him – he goes through his enquiries on what is right or wrong. On one hand, in Jay’s backyard he build an aviary to protect birds on the other hand when he goes to his farm, he hunts birds and kills them. Then there is the squabbling parents in both households – who keep fighting, lost in their own world and trying to give their best to their boys while hanging on to their jobs in a difficult phase of Sri Lanka. It took me back to my childhood and how I coped with my existential crisis and how it shaped my life at home and away from home. I spent some time sipping my tea in my balcony and looking at clouds as memories drifted in & out – till it was time to come back to my new normal.

I loved some of the quotes which the author slipped in, which I am producing below:

“You nibble at everything to find out the truth only when you are young. The adult mind just wants to forget, or escape.” – Ibrahim the book keeper.

“I had no understanding of the compromises by which the adult world found it’s temporary equilibrium, whether between partners, lovers, families or tribes.” - Kairo  

“A sense of fore-boding is hard for a young boy to separate from terror….” – Kairo

“I wish I could make something both beautiful and unbreakable.” – Jay

“A firefly is never alone because when he looks up all the starts sparkle with him.” Jay

After the last chapter aptly titled fireflies where Kairo (now a grown up) tries to physically experience what he experienced as a child with Jay like the large flock’s of birds coming inland to nest in the evening, which could be seen only in a specific point in a secluded beach and was discovered by Jay. He keeps waiting but not a single bird turn up.

As I created the book, I also felt a huge sense of loss – In 6 years space, Maa & Baba passed away leaving behind a void which nothing can fill. For all my misgivings – the only thing I have left is their memories. The book re-kindled some of my childhood memories

Winter Sleep, A Turkish film which caught my attention some time back because it got the Palme d’Or in 2014. I saw it in 2 parts. Not people can see the 3 hr+ movie. But who see it will savour it for it’s slow pace, beautiful & serene photography (shot in Cappadocia – an ancient heritage site in Turkey which is famous for cave hotels as I discovered after I saw the movie). In fact, the movie is shot in a cave hotel which is run by Aydin a former actor who despite all his attempts retired as failed actor.

While you can read about the movie here, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_Sleep_(film).

The movie is built like a lengthy novel or a play, which has many layers and slowly you uncover the layers through dialogues / interactions between characters. Many things are unsaid and left to interpretations which you connect later – like the roadie who stays in his hotel, he does not have a planned destination, he has his tent food etc packed in his bags and just goes where the road takes his, he discovers every day. It’s brief conversation of 10 mnts but it showcases Alydin’s desire or maybe a lost dream that he could do this or should have done it in the past. While that is in his mind he justifies his present with the fact that he is writing a book on Turkish theatre and he also rode through Europe in his younger days.

End Note: I discovered

Didi Contractor, https://www.thehindu.com/society/our-post-independence-cities-are-so-ugly-didi-contractor/article31980225.ece. Read about this 90 year old who is a self-taught architect who stays in Kangra valley since 19 70’s, and has painstakingly studied local building traditions to create structures that are as magical as they are this-worldly. She reminded me of Hoard Roark of Fountainhead.

Ashish Birulee This anti-nuclear activist and photojournalist from Jharkhand’s Jadugoda is fighting for the rights of his people and making their stories heard (https://www.livemint.com/mint-lounge/features/lounge-heroes-ashish-birulee-rising-out-of-a-nuclear-wasteland-11593747542673.html)

2 books which got added to my list

-          Perumal Murugan’s first novel which got translated after 30 year, Rising Heat.

-          Less by Andrew Sean Greer who won a Pulitzer prize for this book in 2017

Director on Watch list: French Dierctor, Olivier Assaya https://www.livemint.com/mint-lounge/features/olivier-assayas-altered-states-11593776773817.html

Neil Young’s new album Homegrown got added to my playlist. https://www.livemint.com/mint-lounge/features/lounge-heroes-ashish-birulee-rising-out-of-a-nuclear-wasteland-11593747542673.html

Cheers! Have a great week. (For once I uploaded the same day 😊)