When time stands still

I entered our Delhi house after 4 years. The last time I entered was to do baba’s shradh in 2018. This time when I entered, It was like time stood still - the photographs from my childhood to my kids early teen, the kitchen with utensils and plates in which we made and had food, the toilet broken because of misuse, the beds & chairs dusty, with a layer of sand - it was like when you pause a movie while editing it. Only difference is that here we didn’t have the actors and could not unpause it.

Except in memory of course. But then memory also is like the fishes hidden in the crevices of stones deep in the ocean - difficult to retrieve. But when I came into our home it was like a tsunami of memory which hit me and stunned me. I stood still for a long time till I got my senses back. My mind had to move from heart to mind - because I was here to empty the house. To remove the physical baggage once and for all. 

In my journey from Delhi to Solan as the flat lands gave away to hills, the ebb and flow of thoughts also reduced or did they go numb. I reflected on this, what is the trigger for any recall, objects, photos, songs & movies heard and seen together - shared spaces like a house. When we grew up in the 70's & 80 there was mostly nothing called personal space. All the fathers friends were uncle & their wives aunties & their children were our friends - we went for picnics, saw movies together, we huddled together in a TV room (called ante room - i still don’t know why ?) to see Star Trek and Spiderman. We played all possible games from pitto (7 stones), gulli danda, football, cricket. Then there were all the festivals & programs - everyone celebrated all festivals. 

That’s the way it was in Air Force cantonment areas - I am hoping the same continues even now. Unless the mobile has intruded and divided the children. When my children were growing up in Bangalore the apartment also had a similar culture and I am happy that the kids were mobile free and enjoyed the friendship, many of which they still maintain - yes on mobile :)  

As I lock the house, heavy winds start blowing and very soon rain follows. I walk in the rain with tears in my eyes and rain on my face merging the past and present in a single stream.