The recency bias
I got up to a crystal clear sky and bright sunlight which was so different from last few days which were foggy n misty with cold breeze blowing across. I was feeling a bit down - fever inside but not outside types & I was just not feeling like looking at the rear view mirror. But I have been putting this off for last 5 days busy striking off my list of mostly home chores. Now it feel like one of the books I wanted to read so badly but after reading 50 pages I didn’t feel like continuing. So on that melancholic note with Low Fi Coffee playing in the background and the sun setting on 31st Dec. I will try and pen a few lines
Life N Death and everything in between
Death creeped up on us in end Feb when Papa - Reema’s father passed away and after a few month Jamaibabu passed away in June. While this was defining moments which lasted for long there were many deaths around someone’s father / mother / uncle brother etc. I guess we are the generation whose previous generation is at that stage. On the other hand the biggest discussion in our house was about Nikita’s & Joyeeta’s job. Hours and hours of discussion which resulted in some reality check and way forward.
So that’s life - As one generation steps off the planet, another starts walking on their road.
Vanaprastha
Defined as way of forest or forest road is the third stage of the 4 stages of life as defined by Vedas in Chaturashrama - 4 stages of life.
Sitting with someone in the audience who looked scholarly and was aso listening told me he is in Vanaprastha stage - I was like ‘What” ? and he says that his focus on life is more for spiritual liberation and finding meaning. Me too - was my response although I never thought of it like that. But this year was kind of settling in for the long haul beyond wants and needs and desires. More importantly constant looking back and turning toward my past for answers. Moving away from the shadows of or ghost of a life in commercial train.
3 WORDS that appeared in front of me
I am not a believer but listening to Kabir or a qawaali or gurbaani or baul - spirituality haapens. What was different was this year these words formed in my mind
Surrender - While listening to Gurbani on Shri Gobind Singh’s birthday at my apartment. I was sitting listening for almost an hour with my eyes closed. And as I walked away that’s the word which formed in my mind. It was a spiritual experience in some sense as there was no thought before that or after that.
Acceptance - On my way back from Solan seeing the young couples fight - make up - living together - common goal - bringing up - many incidents. But Happy in the end. As I settled into the flight back. These words came to me with a smile. A time when enthusiasm and the excitement of future brings curtains to the current unhappiness. We left it long back somewhere down the line may we rediscover it in 20 25
Merge - As I sat listening to a singer in Salim Chisti’s dargah, in a misty and cold morning of Dec 24. It was a surreal moment for me, almost like a scene from a movie - the music, people moving around, people taking snaps, tying threads, beggars, large pillars of tomb and smell of rose flowers. Sitting there alone with just me - there was no thoughts, just me and the environment. There was no difference between me and everything else - we were one. Surreal but true. I had never felt like this before.
As 2024 merges with 20 25 - another year starts.
A new beginning.
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